


Complicated

by Lasagnaraviolli223



Category: Journey to Star Wars: The Force Awakens, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alpha Kylo Ren, Armitage Hux Being An Asshole, Armitage Hux Needs A Hug, Blow Jobs, Collars, Dom/sub, Dominant Kylo Ren, F/M, Fluff and Smut, Food Issues, Force Choking (Star Wars), Kylo Ren Angst, Kylo Ren Has Issues, Kylo Ren Needs a Hug, Kylo Ren is Not Nice, Love Triangles, Needles, Rough Sex, Slapping, Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-10
Updated: 2021-02-10
Packaged: 2021-03-16 08:01:59
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 29
Words: 32,288
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29328987
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lasagnaraviolli223/pseuds/Lasagnaraviolli223
Summary: Being an apprentice to Kylo Ren was never easy, especially while being in a love triangle with Vicrul.
Relationships: Kylo Ren/You, Vicrul (Star Wars)/Reader
Kudos: 4





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Kylo is VERY bipolar in this book, you have been warned.
> 
> -Violence physically and mentally   
> -smut  
> -choking  
> -collaring  
> -degrading  
> -dom!kylo  
> -sub! Reader  
> \- swearing  
> -slapping  
> -lack of aftercare

You never could understand why you could do what you did. You didnt want to be one with the force, you simply ignored it until you used it to your advantage.

You lived alone, you always were alone. Never knew where your parents were or why they never bothered to care for you since they were the ones that ended up having you in the first place. It used to bother you, but over the years as you've grown and matured, you ignored it and learned to live with the fact that your parents didn't want you, as much as you hated it, that was your reality.

You lived on the planet Jakku, in a little hut not far from the village. You needed the village, you loved to interact with the people. It was something that was keeping you busy. Scavenger by day and dancer at the Cantina by night, your scedule was booked, leaving you exhausted most days when coming home.

The only plus side to working at the Cantina were the free drinks which led to a pounding headache the next morning. There were no plus sides to being a Scavenger, you just liked to steal. You seemed to have a knack for it too, your house filled with random items you've aquired over your lifetime.

This one particular night however you were sound alseep, exhausted from your shift from the Cantina, you woke up to the sound of screaming. Not just any screaming, the one that makes your blood run cold. You were only dressed in a t-shirt tht reached below your knees, but figured this wasnt time to worry about your outfit. You quickly retrieve your staff, one that you stole miraculously one day, suprised that you could find such a staff in good condintion from the junkyard you were at, and bolted out the door.

The village was in havoc. Stormtroopers were everywhere killing people from left to right, setting things ablaze, it was a nightmare flickering right before your eyes. You saw innocent civilians being pushed to their knees, the sound of guns, seconds later ringing through the air. You needed to so something and you needed to do it now.

You spot a group of stormtroopers closing in on a group of village people, and decided now was the time to strike. It wasn't long before you were spotted by other stormtroopers. "STOP RIGHT THERE." With a simple flick of your hand, they went crashing some feet away. It was hard not to supress a giggle.

Not long were they all starting to chase after you, you started running when you slammed into the side of a building and fell down to the ground. "Ugh." you groaned. "That is going to leave a mark." you said as you rubbed your forehead, wincing at how tender it was. "HOLD IT RIGHT THERE!" You were blinded by bright lights as the Stormtroopers were huddled in a group near you, blasters pointed.

"Alright, alright you got me." You bit back your grin as you got onto your knees. "DROP YOUR WEAPON!" You cocked your head to side, "Oh I'm about to have some fun." you smiled. You swung your staff, distracting them as you started to take them out one by one. You would kick into their armour near the groin area which led to most of them falling. One trooper yanked your hair from behind, startling you, but you swung your leg from behind, catching his leg in the process, causing him to fall to the ground with a thud.

As you looked around at the fallen storm troopers, you reached for your knife fron under your sock, and proceded to cut under their necks, ensuring that they are dead. "Pathetic." you said.

As you cut the trooper's throat, you felt a rippling pain go through your shoulder, leading you to stumble and fall. You were roughly handled by a pair of hands which you could only guess was a trooper. 'I am so dead.' you thought. The impact of where he shot you, made you feel weak to not being able to fight back.

You were pushed down to your knees, your head hanging low, when you heard a hissing noise and the thud of a ramp touching the ground. You heard before you saw.

"The girl I've heard so much about." You picked up your head to see none other then Kylo Fucking Ren. He was wearing all black with a hood going over head and a mask over his face. 'Coward.' you thought. "In the flesh' was all you said. "Tell me, how many of my men did you slaughter?" You shrugged, "Enough." You could hear him sigh deeply into his mask, as in thought. "Bring her aboard, kill everyone else."

Panic started to flood you, "NO KILL ME!" You started to thrash around even though your shoulder hurt like hell. The troopers started to bring you up to your feet but you refused to walk. "KILL ME PLEASE." You started to sob hysterically. You would rather die than be in the pocession of The First Order. However, your pleas seemed to go on deaf ears as everything went black.


	2. Chapter 2

You awoke with a start, blinded by bright lights and the loss of the feeling of your arms and legs. You were cold too. Your eyes started to focus and you realized you were in a room. You turn your head to see your shoulder bandanged up, but also seeing that your arms and legs were being held down with restraints to this table you were strapped too. Your legs, exposed to the cold slab. They never bothered to change you out of your big shirt, hence why you were freezing.

'Fuck.' You gritted your teeth, hoping to formulate some plan, but found it nearly impossible. No one has been able to escape The First Order, what make you think that you can? You probably looked a mess, you could feel your hair sticking to your forehead. Who knows how long you were out. Hopefully you didn't smell that bad.

Your time of quiet was interupted when you heard sliding doors whoosh open, and the familarity of a cape. You internally groaned. He went and sat down directly in front of you, his head cocked to the side as he was taking you in, accessing you, as you were some labratory experiment.

'Disgusting.' You heard him chuckle? Was it a chuckle? "Comfortable?" A beat. You were not going to speak to him, silent treatment it is. He stood up untill he was in front of you. You refused. "The girl wants to act brave? How adorable." You snorted in disgust when you felt a pain in your head as his hand shot foward. "We'll see." You tried quickly to put up walls, but it was too late, he could see everything. You could feel his mask right in front of your face. "So alone, why? Ah your parents left you behind." You didnt even know you were crying untill you felt a tear roll down your cheek. He pressed further leading to more pain, you whimpered. Flashes of you growing up alone and by yourself came up. "A scavenger?" He then cut to the night of the invansion of the First Order, how you used the force to fling the troopers back, you slaughtering them. You felt the pain go away, you hung your head, panting from the assault. "When did you know?" Nothing. Absolutely nothing, you refused to talk to this 'thing'.

"I suggest you start talking before I rip open your stiches. How does that sound, hm?" You picked your head up weakly to glare at him. "I refuse." and with that you spit on his mask. "You are going to regret that." He brought up one of his leather gloved hands and wiped the spit onto one finger, "Open or I will do it for you." You were curious on how he was going to make you do anything, as you hadn't said a word. Your thoughts were answered when you felt his free hand brush across your shoulder, causing you to shiver. "Just remember you asked for this." You felt his hand touch your shoulder along your bandage, finding the opening and tugging the bandange off. What was left was a hole and tiny wires sticking out which you guessed what was keeping it together and letting it heal.

I guess you did ask for this. You felt an enourmous amount of pain as you felt him yank on one of the wires. You instantly screamed a blood piercing screaming and he shoved his finger in your mouth, the one with your spit. The taste of leather was making you gag, and tears were streaming down your face. He didn't stop. He kept pulling and pulling as he dangled the first wire in your face. "Must I go on?" You couldn't speak due to his finger still being in your mouth, so you bit down onto his finger with all your might. You felt his finger leave your mouth, not a second later did you feel a stuck across your cheek. Kylo wasted no time and yanked the final wire off the wound as it was some band aid. You were screaming bloody murder, tears and snot down your face.

You started to slip into unconsiousness.

================

When you came to again, you were dissapointed that you didn't die from blood loss. Your surroundings were new though. You were in a room this time, on a bed, with silk sheets. A huge window to the galaxy was in front of you, a table and chairs in the center, and a bathroom off to the side. Everything was black, not one spot of color in sight.

Your shoulder was heavily bandanged, but you were wearing different clothes. Only a black thick sweater. You really wanted to take a bath, but you were afraid of getting your wound wet. You sat up and brought your knees to your chest and laid your head on your knees. Your long hair covering you like a curtain. You sighed, 'How can this be happening to me?' You lost your knife and your home all in a span of a couple days.

You heard the sound of a door opening and closing and loud footsteps echoing the floor. 'This couldn't have gotten any better.' You pick your head up and can see him standing, staring back at you. "I need to check on your wound." "You mean the one that you caused?" You spat back, not moving an inch. You were moving further away from him, when your back hit the wall.

You saw his fingers move toward the sides of his helmet and a hissing noise following it. His black locks casaded down to his shoulders. His face, oh my stars. He was beautiful. A sharp prominent nose along with a sharp jawline. Freckles and moles along his face and his dark brown eyes. His lips pink and plump.

He placed the helmet down with a loud thud, and you jumped at the noise. He started walking toward you and you tried to shield yourself with a pillow. Great weapon of choice y/n. You mentally rolled your eyes. He stood at the edge of the bed, watching you, when he suprised you by holding out his hand. You looked at it at first, but hesitantly decided to take it. He pulled you up and into his arms, your legs wrapping around his torso, your head resting on his shoulder.

He took you into the bathroom and set you on the counter. You took the liberty yourself to take off the hot thick sweater, and you dropped it to the ground. His footsteps were farther away as you heard water running. You only stared at the floor when you heard his footsteps come closer and felt things being put beside you. You shivered when you felt his gloved hand unwrap the thick bandage gauze around your shoulder. You winced when you felt the snall gauze peel off of your wound. You could feel the sting of alcohol around the edges of your wound, so he was probably cleaning up the sides. He finished it off with putting some type of cream or gel on it, cooling the stinging sensation. He wrapped it up with new gauze.

He helped me off the counter and led me torwards the tub, he didn't leave. "Um maybe a little privacy?" "Don't be ridiculous y/n." You scoffed, "Excuse me?" You could hear an angry sigh coming from him, "Just get in the tub. I know you've been wanting a bath, I can help." You had no other choice than to follow what he said. "Just turn around then." In a second you were discarded of your undergartments and had carefully stepped into the bath, not wanting to get your shoulder wet.

Kylo finally took this as a signal to come over. You saw him take his gloves off. He was probably going to wash your hair you thought. You were right. Kylo would take the cup and fill it with water, and spill it on your hair for it to become soaked enough. Once it was wet enough, he lathered your hair with shampoo that smelled like lavender. The way his hands moved over your scalp, made you feel something you never had before felt. Thankfully he let you wash your body yourself, and not soon after, you told him to look away once again so that you could cover yourself with a towel.

You silently followed him out of the bathroom as he leaded you to a closet. It was filled with anything you could possibly need. Shirts, long sleeve shirts, pants, shorts, coats, jackets, leggings, tank tops, socks, and the prettiest undergartments you could have ever imagined. "Meet me in the bathroom when you are done." And with that, he walked away. You settled for a white lace bra and matching panties set, along with a black long sleeve and some black shorts.

Kylo blow dried your hair for you, he even braided it. You walked back towards the bed, exaughsted and clean. "I have meetings to attend to, I will be back later. My knight, Vicrul, will be looking after you."

He didn't wait for you to answer as he walked away and you fell asleep instantly.


	3. Chapter 3

Kylo POV

"The mighty Kylo Ren. Tell me, have you gotten the girl yet?"

"Yes Supreme Leader." "Good, you must start training her boy. I sense another disturbance, from the Resistance. You have three weeks till your mission with your apprentice. I hope she will not become a disraction to you. Will she?" "No Supreme Leader." "Good, good, If I sense that she has indeed become a distraction, she will be dealt with." Snoke's hologram flickered away.

You stood in the elevator, thoughts of y/n immediatly coming through your mind. You did glance at her while she was undressing. Her body was beautiful. Full perky breasts with a nice ass. You noticed the little groans she would make when you washed her hair. Her long brown hair between your fingers as you were braiding her hair just hours ago. She smelled of lavender.

Your thoughts were quickly broken as the elevator stopped and you made your way to your TIE fighter.

Y/N POV

You didn't know how long you were asleep for, because Kylo still wasn't back. You also realized you haven't eaten since you've been taken into The First Order. You rubbed your eyes and sat up, your hair escaping the braid it was in. You saw a shadow sitting in a chair staring back at you.

"Y/N." "Do all of you people have buckets for heads?" You could've sworn you heard a chuckle, but it was muffled by his helmet. "Are you hungry?" You jumped out of bed, almost running towards him. "I thought you'd never ask!"

You were in the cafeteria, scarfing down some macaroni and cheese while Vicrul sat in his chair and observed you. You decided to break the ice. "So how do you know Ren?" "It's Supreme Leader, show some respect." You scoffed, "Yeah sure thing buddy." You rolled your eyes. You were about to reach in for another bite, when Vicrul snatched your plate away. "You'll get your macaroni back when you learn some manners." You scoffed knowing you can just use the force to bring it back. "Don't even try it.We have to go back, Supreme Leader will be ariving soon."

You chose not to wait for him, as you left the cafateria on your own, already sick of this place. The macaroni wasn't even that good! Mediacore at best. You weren't really looking where you were going unitl you slammed into someone, causing the both of you to fall to the floor. "Why don't you look where you're going, little girl!" He sneered. You looked up and it was a man with bright ginger hair, and a very punchable face. He just reeked 'Douche'. "Who do you belong to? Are you one of the Supreme Leader's toys?" Why this little-. It was too late, anger was coursing through your veins and you flicked your hand and threw him against the wall. You were about to continue on your assault, when a strong hand gripped your arm, dragging you away, painfully.

"Quit it! Let me go or I will do it to you too!" You yelled. You knew it was Vicrul, but you refused to stop. You were allowed to have a bad day. Vicrul refused to let you go, until he scanned his hand to your quarters. He threw you on the ground. "Can you not act bratty for at least one second?" He yelled. "Oh i'm sorry, you weren't completely taken from your home on Jakku, and are having to serve some fool who claims power. You all disgust me. I want off this dump of a ship." You got up, suprisingly, Vicrul didn't stop you as you went to the door to open it.

Kylo.

You stepped away from the door as Kylo was blocking it, he was a giant. "Um hey Kylo!" He looked straight at you, you could probably guess he was glaring at you from behind the mask, seething with anger. "Dissmissed Vicrul." After Vicrul left, it was quiet, you were afraid to say or do anything. "I leave for a couple of hours, and you manage to insult me and assault my staff? And you left without permission from Vicrul?" You pretended not to listen and looked at your fingers. You felt a hand grasp your jaw and you looked into Kylo's mask. "Answer me."

"Yes." You felt a smile play on your lips, as you looked away. He let go of your jaw but you felt a burning sensation on your cheek. Did he just? You felt another burning sensation on the other side of your cheek. Now both sides were both equally stinging with pain. You felt embarrassed. "Bad girl. Your lucky you are not recieving your full punishment tonight. You will wait till tommorrow." "What's tommorrow?" "Your first day of training. I will be teaching you the ways of the force. You lack guidance and control. Our first mission is in a few weeks, so we must get started." You didn't respond. "What, no snarky comeback? You've been a brat all day but can't do it now?" "I don't have a choice to train with you, it doesn't matter. You would make me do it anyways."

"Come. I have to give you something." You were apprehensive first on taking his hand, but decided to take it since you didn't want to risk him getting even more upset. How is he going to punish me? Your stomach churned at the thought. I wish he would've given it to me now so I wouldn't have to keep thinking about it, you sighed. Maybe he'll change his mind? " Trust me kitten, I don't ever forget." Your face instantly turned red and you looked down at the ground, your hand burning as it was enclosed in his big leather gloved hand. And Kitten? That's new.

Kylo led you to his dresser where he pulled out a shelf and pulled out a rectangular box. "Go on. Take it and open it." You were feeling nervous as to what could lie in a box that small. Maybe it was your knife! You retrieved the box and undid the claps and opened it.

You gasped. "Kylo...... what is this?" "Your collar." "Excuse me?" "I don't have to repeat myself. Let me put it on." You backed away from the dresser in horror. What the stars is going on? I feel like i'm going crazy. "You should be happy. Now you belong to somebody. To me, and only me." You nervously chuckled, "Kylo are you ok?" You were really getting scared at this point.

"Kitten, come here. Now." Those words sent shivers to your spine. You were frozen in place, not sure what to do. "Do I have to count to three? Because you won't like what happens at the end." You were curious as to what was going to happen. Should I? Might as well be a brat.

"1. A beat. 2, a beat. 3." He growled at the last number, and in no second was he right there in front of you.

"Just rember you asked for this."


	4. Chapter 4

"You think it's cute to disobey your Supreme Leader? You think it's funny don't you, hm? We'll see if you are laughing when I am finished with you. I will get the last laugh."

You stood there frozen by the force, as Kylo walked around you like you were a piece of meat. You were so stubborn and stupid. Why did I think this was a good idea again? Maybe that will be your new thing. Antagonize the Supreme Leader unitll he gets tired of you and kills you. "Oh in your dreams Kitten." "Get out of my head!" You yelled. Probably not your best idea ever. Kylo stormed to the dresser, and in an instance was in front of your face, your chests almost touching one another. "Move your hair." You obdiently moved your hair off to the side, knowing what was coming next. You were starting to shake and you could feel a single tear sliding down your face.

You felt cold metal against your neck as Kylo fixed the choker to as tight as it could go. Bastard. He went to stand directly in front of you, reaching his gloved hand on your wet cheek. "Don't cry Kitten, no one can help or hear you except me." This just made you want to cry even more.

"Strip." He went over to the table and you heard the familiar hissing of his helmet, and the immediate thud afterwards. It made you even more nervous now that his mask was off, but you obliged, untill you were left in your matching white lace set. "Everything Kitten." "Kylo please, i'm sorry." You were on the verge of sobbing. He walked and stood in front of you. You felt his gloved hand reach up to your chin and bring it up. "I don't take kindly to being disrespected. You need to learn some manners. If you won't take it off, I will do it for you." He released your chin, but continued to stand in front of you, only stepping back to give you some space.

You were completely exposed and vulnerable, and you were terrified. "Get on the bed, on all fours." Kylo didn't follow behind you as you made your way onto the bed in position. You were shaking like a leaf. You saw Kylo standing on the side of the bed, "Head down and arch your back." Your ass was practically sticking u-. You felt a painful slap on your backside and whimpered. Fuck this really hurt. "It's supposed to Kitten. That's why it's called a punishment." He landed another slap on the opposite cheek. "I think 15 is reasonable." "No Kylo that's too much." you begged. He landed another slap. It's his stupid gloves that are making it hurt more. Damn leather.

You, *slap* don't, *slap* get, *slap* to, *slap* tell,*slap* me, *slap* what, *slap* to, *slap* do, *slap*. He let you take a brief pause before he gave you the last 5, each as painful as the last one. You crumbled on the sheets and laid there trying to catch your breath, your ass on fire. "Don't fall asleep now, we're not even finished." You were too tired to react, thinking this should've been enough. You thought you heard the faint sound of clothing dropping onto the floor, when you felt an actual hand underneath your stomach. Kylo was pushing your stomach up so that your back was arching, but your head remained on the bed. Kylo never really gave you any heads up when he started pushing his length through you. This position you were in wasn't helping matters. You were screaming profanities as Kylo continued to push his length into you. Everytime you would try and adjust yourself, Kylo would push you back down into the same position as before. As you finallly got adjusted to his length he started to move back and fourth, you found yourself at times groaning. You felt his finger go to the front of your choker and you heard a click. This should be illegal, you thought. You could feel the coldness of a chain in between your breasts, and the sudden pull, bringing your head up.

As Kylo kept ramming into you, he was pulling your head up, almost choking you. His free hand caught your jaw, and he slipped one of his fingers into you mouth. He pressed it down on your tongue, causing you to gag, not to mention you were almost choking from how he kept pulling your choker. You could feel your mind start to get hazy and tears spilling down. His thrusts started to get more sloppy and you could tell he was close. He's not going to let me cum, you thought. "You are correct Kitten." He slipped his finger out of your mouth, and started running his hand through your hair.

"Fuck. What a pretty cunt. All filled by your Supreme Leader." You sank onto the mattress. You felt disgusting. Kylo didn't even bother to help you afterwards. You were too tired to do anything about it. You felt a pain in your hair, as if someone was pulling it. Kylo dragged you off the bed by your hair. "Knees." You did as you were told, you just wanted this to be over with so you could sleep. He grasped your jaw in between his fingers. "Did you learn your lesson, Kitten?" You nodded. A smack on your cheek. You whimpered, your lips trembeling. "Words, Kitten." "Yes sir." He started petting your hair, "I'm glad."

Kylo walked away, and you climbed back on the bed and curled into a ball and sobbed the whole night. Kylo never came back.

Kylo POV

Such a good kitten she was. Maybe that will stop her brattines for now. I didn't want to stay with her afterwards, she needed space after everything that happened. She'll learn, I'll make sure of it.

It was late at night, but I didn't feel like sleeping. I can't stop thinking about the girl. The scavenger. I need her in order to find the map. I need to fulfill my grandfather's legacy. I cannot be seen as weak. Maybe with Kitten, but I will never let her know that.

"Supreme Leader! Have you taken care of that pest?" He shivered in disgust. "What? Jealous Hux?" "Please. You wish. We must talk about the mission to Takodana."


	5. Chapter 5

You woke up to the pounding as if someone was beating at the door. You were on your way to the door, but realized you were still naked from last night's events. You blushed and quickly ran and pulled over one of Kylo's silk sheets, and wrapped it around your body.

"What?" You snapped. "Supreme Leader has requested your presence in the training center at 0800 hours." The storm trooper left. It was 0600 hours right now, just the time you needed to get ready.

As you looked in the mirror in the bathroom, your neck was starting to bruise because of the tightness of the collar. Jesus Kriff. The man is a lunatic. You couldn't do anything about it either which frustrated you the most. Kylo was stronger and much more smarter than you. You stepped into the shower but jumped back because the water came cold, it warmed up after a couple of seconds. It was difficult to take a shower due to the scalding water touching your ass. Kylo definitely did some damage, but the thought of his hands on you made you squirm at the feeling, you pressed your thighs together and clenched your teeth. Why are you even thinking about it that way? It was a punishment for Kriffs sake! Yea, a punishment you kind of liked, even though it was painful, you sighed. You washed your hair with shampoo that smelled of eucalyptus. Was this his? You smirked at the thought.

Once you were done in the shower, you wrapped a towel around your body and around your head. You decided on a tight black fitted halter top, along with a black thong and black leggings along with black sneakers. Black Black Black. How bland. You pretended to gag. Once you got dressed and dried your hair, you decided to order some breakfeast. It was only 7100, so you figured you had lots of time before you had to leave. I was wrong.

It was already 0800 after you finished breakfeast, and you hadn't even braided your hair, nor did you know where the training room was. After asking around frantically, you finally arrived at the doors. You took a deep breath and were about to open the door, when a strong hand yanked you inside. "Your late, pet! 10 minutes. That is unacceptable, this is your final warning." He let your arm go, leaving a red mark behind. When Kylo turned around, you stuck your tongue out at him and gave him the finger. "I saw that. I thought I taught you a lesson yesterday? Did it not work? Do I have to keep doing it, hm?" You sighed, annoyed, "No sir." "Good."

Kylo really was working you hard even if it was your first day of training, he didn't care. Kylo didn't have his mask on, he was dressed in his normal attire, except his cape. The training room was something you could've dreamed about. Except for the room being covered in grays and blacks. Who even designed this ship? How do you even become an interior designer? I don't think I've seen one pop of color around here! You frowned at this thought. Rows of knifes along the walls, each a different shape or different style blade. Some staffs were in a corner of the room, also different shapes or lengths. A large mat was centered in the middle of the room, weight machines towards the back, along with a treadmill.

Kylo first started off with meditation saying that, 'I need to learn how to block my thoughts, as it could be dangerous to my enemy because then they could find my weak spot and take me down.' "You are not trying hard enough y/n." "Yes I am." you gritted your teeth together. How am I supposed to concentrate if this bozo keeps talking? "Watch it." You felt a painful tug of your hair. The force. He used the force to do that. Asshole. You fell to the ground with a thud. "What the stars man? I was concentrating!" You let out a yelp as Kylo pushed your back into the ground hard, and gathered your writs in his hand and pinned them above your head. He grasped your jaw with the other, and slipped two fingers in, pushing your tongue down. "I'm sorry, what did you say? I didn't catch it?" "Ah-hou." Asshole. Kylo removed his fingers from your mouth and you were soon after struck across the face. Kylo looped a finger inside of the ring of your choker, pulling your neck up, along with still holding your wrists in his hand. "Careful Kitten." His free fingers started to trace along the bruises on your neck, his eyes glowing. "I guess your collar is working after all." No. "Did you say 'no'? I thought I taught you a lesson yesterday. Clearly your still a brat. I can take care of that later tonight." He shoved you back down to the ground. "Get up it's time for combat training."

No matter what, you could never send Kylo to the floor during combat training, even while dueling with staffs. A staff because he wouln't trust you with a lightsaber, but would trust you with a large stick that could impale him. How ironic. Can I impale myself so I can get off this god foresaken ship?

But he did to you, 4 times. "Are you even trying y/n?" This was now going to be your fifth time, maybe this will be it. You waited for Kylo's signal and started to run towards him. You started to swing your staff to strike him in the neck, but of course he blocked. He was trying to push you down from the force of both of your staffs pushing against each other. You started to try and reach his feet with your leg so that you could sweep them under and he would fall. However he ended up sweeping your legs under and you landed with a loud thud on your side. "You need to block your thoughts y/n. That's how I knew what you were doing and how you were going to strike." You layed there, wanting to die on the spot. "Training is dissmissed for today. I want all your focus tommorrow no exceptions. This mission is important. I need to capture the Scavenger so I can have some clue as to where the map is."

Suprisingly Kylo gave you his hand so that you can stand up. What was even more of a suprise was he gave you a peck on the forehead. "We will have dinner together at 0800. Now go, get ready."


	6. Chapter 6

Your muscles were sore from training, so you weren't really in the mood to dress fancy for your dinner with Kylo. The Supreme Leader? You snorted at this. You showered, and dressed in a black long sleeve with black shorts. It was only 0700 and your dinner didn't start for another hour so you decided to take a little nap.

"Y/n. Wake up, I have food." Your eyes fluttered to see Kylo in front of you near the side of the bed, his fingers going through your damp hair. You sat up in bed and rubbed your eyes and yawned. "My sleepy Kitten." Kylo placed a kiss on your forehead, and you almost did summersaults. You took his hand and he led you to a table. Spaghetti and meatballs! Oh my stars! You eyed the liquid in your glass. "What's this? "Champagne." Your mouth formed the word 'o', as you nodded your head.

Dinner was delicious but silent at times. Everytime you would ask Kylo a question, he would brush it off and avoid it. "What are we doing tomorrow in training?" "Force training." Again, you only nodded your head. During the beginning of dinner, you practically drank all your champagne in matter of seconds. It was delicous and very sweet. When you asked Kylo if you could have more, he said no. "I'm not some kid you know? Why should I have to listen to you?" He glared at you and you decided it would be safe if you stopped talking. During dinner, Kylo would keep looking at you. You could see him staring through your peripheral, often making you squirm in your seat.

"Go and kneel beside the bed." You looked up at him, and blinked. "W-what?" Your mind starting running a mile a minute. I thought we were having such a nice time? Why is Kylo being like this? It's like a light appeared in your brain. The training room. Kylo said he was going to teach you another lesson. You felt as pale as a ghost. Your ass hadn't stop hurting all day. He wouldn't hit you again. Would he? "Now, Kitten." You sheepishly got up and kneeled beside the bed. What is he going to do to me? you thought. You were trying to even your breaths, when you heard a thud on the bed. It was the dreaded leash you hated. Your lips started trembling. Stars you hated that thing. Kylo must've known you despised it, which is maybe why he kept doing it.

"Get up and strip." Those 4 words. You hated those 4 words. You got up to a standing position but froze. You could already feel tears start to fill up your eyes as you stood there shaking. You felt a grip on your jaw bringing your head up. "If you don't like getting punished Kitten, then I advise you start behaving. Now strip, I won't ask you again." You did as you were told even though you were shaking like a leaf the entire time. Kylo clicked the leash onto your collar and pulled it down, signaling you to get back on your knees. Kylo started to unbuckle his pants, when his member sprung free. "Get to work Kitten." How the hell was that supposed to fit in your mouth? You were snapped out of your train of thought as Kylo yanked the leash forward. He's getting impatient, you thought.

"No hands either." You groaned inside. You started off by licking his tip, just going around and around with your tongue, you then worked on getting at least some of it inside you, inching it forward from time to time. Kylo got to impatient and grabbed your hair into a ponytail and thrusted his full length in your mouth, causing you to gag. He kept pulling your hair back and forth as you took his length. He was going to cum. "Swallow every last bit Kitten." His cum tasted salty as it went down your mouth. Kylo released his grip in your hair and you winced. He was really pulling on your hair hard. Kylo took ahold of the leash once more and guided you onto bed, putting you into the same uncomfortable position as last time. Head down, arched back, and ass up. You felt a creak in the bed and felt his tip at your entrance.

He slammed into you and you screamed, your knuckles turned white as you clutched the bed sheets. He flipped you over and took your legs and placed them onto his shoulders. You could feel him in your stomach and you groaned. Kylo ran his fingers through your hair and your cheeks. Then onto your neck, he started squeezing your neck, and your breath caught into your throat. You felt tears escape your eyes, and your mind getting foggy. Kylo let go of you neck and traced his gloved hands to your chest. His hands kneading your breasts.

You were about to cum, but Kylo beat you to it and pulled out. Another day of not cumming. You sat up on your elbows, glaring at Kylo as he wall pulling up his pants and buckling his belt back into place. Kylo noticed and pinched your jaw into his hands. "Don't glare at me, only good girls get to cum." You scoffed at him and were about to get up, when Kylo yanked your hair back. "Watch it."

Kylo let go of your hair and once again, left the room, only to hear a door slam shut. For this being Kylo's quarters, he sure didn't stay in here, or even sleep for that matter. He only came to punish you or use you as a sex toy. You put your clothes back on and crawled into bed, tears streaming down.

The night was restless as you couldn't seem to sleep at all. You went and walked to the bathroom and stared at your reflection in the mirror. You looked completely broken. As if Kylo was a dog and just using you as a chew toy. Humongous bruises were peeking from your collar, that you could not for the life of you take off by yourself. Dark circles underneath your eyes from restless nights. You could feel your anger start to boil and you knew you needed to break something. Before you could process what was happeneing, your fist collided with the mirror. Glass pieces falling around you. Some pieces were stuck to your skin. Leave them there you thought, so the pain can stay. You needed to break something else and found a vase as your next victim. You smashed it to the ground with a yell of frustration. I need to get out of this room.

It was quiet around the ship at this time of the night. You wandered aimlesslely for who knows how long. You weren't going to go back to sleep that's for sure. It was too painful. You passed by a window that led to the outside of the base. If you were to open the door, surely alarms were to be set off and stormtroopers would rush to get to the scene. It was beautiful outside. Snow falling onto trees, and snow coating the ground. You leaned your head onto the window and watched the snow continue to fall. You took quivering breaths and tears continued to stream down your face as you put your hand flat against the cold window. Home you thought. How you missed Jakku so much. You hated The First Order. You didn't belong here. You didn't want to be here. Kylo basically treats you with no respect. Just a pet with a collar. You started to think about your familly. The familly you never had. You never had a childhood or happy memories. You had to figure everything out on your own for your whole life. You hated this. And now to be sucked into this? People basicaly making choices for you and punishments if you weren't going to follow in step. "I want to go home." you whispered. Your hair was sticking to your face as tears kept streaming.

"Y/N?"


	7. Chapter 7

"Y/N?"

You turned around and saw Vicrul, you turned back to watching the snow fall, your hand still on the glass, your eyes glossy. You felt some shuffling and could feel a tall, warm body next to you. "Beautiful isn't it?" You didn't respond, it was almost as if your soul left your body. You were so mentally drained. You felt a hand under your chin lifting it up. "Y/n what's wrong?" Vicrul started rubbing his thumb on your cheek, and you leaned into his touch. Kylo never gave you affection like this. It was comforting. "Y/n." This time Vicrul said it in a stern voice. "I just miss home and Kylo isn't comforting at all. All he does it treat me as some pet and then leaves me alone to suffer. He doesn't care, no one does. Not even my family wanted me for kriffs sake!" You felt yourself crying again. How many tears are in my body? How am I not all cried out?

Vicrul pulled me into an embrace and started running his fingers through my long brown hair, which made me sob harder. He let me go and observed my face. He started wiping my tears off with his fingers, making his leather glove damp. "No more crying ok? You're strong Y/N." You shook your head. "No I'm not. I can't stand Kylo. He's terrible." "But your training with him right?" You nodded. "Against my own will. I didn't want to be taken by The First Order that night. The whole time I've been here has just felt like a nightmare that won't end. I don't know how much longer I can last." "Don't talk like th-, what happened to your hand Y/n?" "I broke a mirror." "How long has the shards been in your skin?" You shugged. "C'mon, I'm taking you to Medbay." 

Vicrul and I walked to Medbay, hand in hand.

Kylo

As you were walking down the hallways on the Finalizer, you heard voices. Not just any voice, Kitten. You heard another voice as well that sounded familiar. You went closer and saw their figures and you hid behind a wall. It was Vicrul. What is my knight doing out so late? Especially talking to Kitten. Vicrul knew she was off limits. Kylo was enranged. Not only that, but he was touching her, and she was leaning into his touch. Slut. She was mostly crying. You could see the glass launched in her hand. Did she try to-? No. you weren't going to think about that. Why do you even care about Kitten? You need to be focused on the mission. I need the map. Then all of this would be over. The dark side will able to take over the galaxy and the Resistance would be no more. You saw the two of them walk off hand in hand, probably to Medbay from the direction they were going. Oh Kitten you are going to pay.

Y/N

My alarm woke me up at 0700 for training that started in an hour. Once you got back to your quarters, Kylo's quarters, should you even say his quarters? He doesn't even come in here. Whatever, anyways. You also saw that all the glass was picked up. Must've been a droid, you thought. Once you came back, you fell right to sleep. Vicrul was just very comforting and what you needed that night. He really stepped up in ways that Kylo never could. Your arm only needed to be disenfected and bandaged up. A nurse took some tweezers and individually took them out piece by piece while you sat on the hospital bed, your head laying on Vicrul's shoulder. He even gave you a kiss on the forehead. You were grinning just thinking about it.

You were in no mood to take a shower, so you only changed your clothes and ordered breakfeast. You dressed in black leggings with your sneakers and a black long sleeve top. For breakfeast you ordered an omelete with sausage on the side.

You were early as you arrived in the training room only by a minute, but of course, Kylo was there first. He was in regular attire with no cape but he had his mask on. Strange. He turned around as he heard you come in. "Let's begin."

"Iwant you to get that knife and bring it torwards your hand, It's all about concentrating and having control." You took in a breath, and looked at the exact knife you wanted. You shot your hand out and started concentrating. You closed your eyes and emptied your mind, only focusing on bringing the knife into your hand, you could picture it. Untill you felt a sharp pain on your hand. Your eyes shot open, seeing a deep gash forming on the center of your hand. "Fuck! What the hell Kylo." You stomped toward him untill you felt the sensation as if you were choking, you clawed at your neck at the invisible force. Kylo let go of the force around your neck and instead froze you in place. Kylo came close enough to where your noses were almost touching. "I know what you did. With my knight." Kylo touched your hand that was newly gashed and you winced. He started to press the wound, his black leather glove, now coated with red. Kylo forced a finger into your mouth and you could taste a mix of copper and leather, which was absolutely horrible. Kylo pushed his finger in deeper untill it hit the back of your throat and you gagged. He would move his finger in and out, fully coating your tongue with your blood. Kylo moved the force and you fell to the ground. You coughed from the sudden intrusion, the taste of leather and your blood still in your mouth. I have to bleach my tongue to get the taste of leather out of it, you thought. As you were coughing, some of the blood trickled onto the mat. Once you regained your breathing you said, "You mean show me affection? When you wouldn't. You treat me as your chew toy." You scoffed. Kylo came storming next to you and squatted in front of you. Wow, even squatting he's still so tall and frightening. Kylo looped a finger through your collar and you winced. "Know your place, pet! I don't want to ever see you talking to my knights. You belong to me. Only me. Is that understood pet?" His voice was way scarier when it was hiding behind a voice modualtor. You were forced to look into his mask not knowing where his eyes were. "Yes it is understood." With that, he let go of your collar and stood up. 

"Consider this a lesson learned. You have 5 minutes to bandadge your hand and then we'll start with lightsaber training."


	8. Chapter 8

Kylo POV

After you dissmissed Y/n from training, you stormed straight off to the Knight's quarters. Your target? Vicrul. You were going to get through to him alright. No one touches what's mine and gets away with it.

You shot your hand out, opening the doors. "Hey bo-," You immediately spotted Vicrul and stormed toward him. You flicked your hand and he went flying into the wall behind him. He laid, slumped on the ground. You could hear him groan behind his helmet before you shot out your hand, choking him. "Didn't I tell all of you that Kitten is off limits? Did you really think I wouldn't find out?" Vicrul was scratching at his neck, desperate. Kylo removed his hand and could hear Vicrul wheezing behind his helmet. "Supreme Leader, I apologize." Kylo brought up his saber at the speed of light, making it come alive. He pointed it a Vicrul's neck. "If I ever see or hear you two together again, I will not hesitate to kill you." Kylo turned around with his lightsaber still in hand. "That goes for all of you. I will not be merciful. I hope I have made myself clear." All the knights replied, "Yes Supreme Leader." You storm out the room, but could hear Ap'lek's voice. "Yo Vicrul, what the hell did you do?"

*2 weeks later*

Y/N POV

You were practicing your swinging moves with your lightsaber you made a couple days before with Kylo. Even if you weren't on best terms with Kylo, you were still grateful that he helped you put together your first saber. You were pretending to jab the invisible person or even ducking down and swinging the saber to the sides. Even running and sliding while waving your saber from side to side.

You were stoked to finally being on a mission, at least you could actually leave the insanely boring Finalizer. The knights were huddled into a corner. Some watching you, some sharpening their weapons. You haven't talked to Vicrul since that night. Kylo must've scared him off.

"5 minutes." You were doing last minute stretches and doing last minute practice moves with your saber, when you felt a thud. We've landed. The ramp started coming down and you felt a presence next to you so you looked up. You were suprised to see Kylo, his mask in hand. "Alright everyone, split up. Knights with me. Y/n, I'm letting you go by yourself. Will you be ok?" You nodded your head. "Yes I think it will be good to split up, more area covered." Kylo cleared his throat and turned to you. He brought his fingers to your chin, keeping it in his grasp. You were looking into his eyes when his lips crashed onto yours. His tongue exploring your mouth. You heard Hux clear his throat behind you. "Supreme Leader? I think this is highly innapropiate. We have a task to complete." Kylo broke away, leaving you panting for air. What has gotten into Kylo? He has never showed affection in public. "I don't take orders from you Hux." Hux scoffed. He turned back to you. "Be careful Y/N."

After you and Kylo and the Knights split up, you were left venturing in the forest. Nothing so far, untill you could hear some rustling. You decided it would be best to climb a tree, that way they wouldn't be able to spot you. Only if somewhere were actually here. You spotted a nice looking tree and decided to settle on that one. You started to climb and decided to stop at 20 feet to see if you could spot anything or anyone. You were immensely good at climbing due to having to always search for parts in abandoned ships at scrapyards. Perks of being a Scavenger. You were lucky to have this skill. You spotted someone moving and you squinted closer. It was a girl. She was wearing clothing that were dirty and torn. She had 3 buns in her hair. Easy target you thought. She would never suspect you. You started to climb down the tree and saw her come into view.

"You're the Scavenger?" "Who are you?" "That's none of your concern at the moment." You could see she was holding a blaster in her hand. She looked scared maybe. Uneasy? You could take her out. You lit up your saber, as the first shot rang out. Everytime she shot, it would be blocked by your saber. You started advancing towards her, still swinging your saber. She was getting tired you could tell. Unlike you, who had been training for countless hours, you were used to the pain. She looked terrified now as you backed her into a tree, your saber at her neck. "Any last words?" You sneered.

"Y/N, STOP." It was Kylo. You turned towards him, confused. "I will take care of it. Go back to the ship with the knights." "W-what? W-why." "I said go!" You scurried off to where the Knights were behind Kylo, muttering to yourself. Why does he get to kill her? I was the one who found her for kriffs sake.

Kylo POV

The Scarvenger is a girl. I laughed inside because I saw her holding a blaster, aiming it towards me. That won't save her. I lit my saber, and she looked even more terrified. She tried to keep firing at me, but I block them lazily with my saber. Yawn. When I see that she is trying to fire again, I freeze her in place. She gasps.

"The girl I've heard so much about." I walk around her slowly, noticing she's trying her best not to cry.

"The droid." I stop at her face and whip my saber out, landing it inches away from her cheek.

"Where is it?" I reach my hand out to her face, sifting through her mind. She winces at the pain, tears streaming down her face. "The map. You've seen it." I reach my hand out once more, but am interrupted by a storm trooper.

"Sir, Resistance fighters! We need more troops." My hand still in front of her face. "Pull the division out. Forget the droid. We have what we need."

I wave my hand, and catch the fallen Scavenger in my arms. 

Y/N POV

My head whips up at the sound of boots clanking on the ramp. Kylo. But with the girl in his arms. I frown. Almost feeling a sense of jealousy.


	9. Chapter 9

Kylo POV

Once we arrived back at the Finalizer, I took the girl back in my arms. I could see Y/n's disaproving looks from my perhiprial, but chose to ignore it. She has nothing to be jealous of. It's ridiculous and childish on her part. I will let her know later.

I went straight into the interrogation room and set her down on the chair, locking her wrists and legs onto the retraints. I sat on the chair that was in the corner of the room but I could see her straight on.

Now we wait.

Y/N POV

The knights took me back to Kylo's quarters with no explanation at all. Kylo left too. I didn't know where the stars he went. I only knew he was with that girl. The scavenger. You scoffed. Whatever.

You decided to take a shower instead. My muscles were aching, and I could just see the dirt build up between my nails. I stand under the warm stream of water, only thinking about what Kylo was doing.

Kylo POV

She's woken up. I see her scan her surroundings, frightened, untill her eyes find me.

"Where am I."

"You're my guest." She scoffs. "Where are the others?"

"You mean the murderes, traitors, and theives you call friends?" A beat. "You'll be relieved to hear that I have no idea."

She's fearful of me. I still see that look in her eyes. "You still want to kill me?" You chuckle.

"That happens when you're being hunted by a creature in a mask." I hesitate before I touch the sides of my helmet, and lift it up, exposing my face. She's stunned, I can tell. She quickly changes her expression back to being mute.

"Tell me about the droid."

"He's a BB unit with a selenium drive and a thermal hyperscan vindicator --"

"He's carrying a section of a navigational chart. We have the rest, recovered from archives of the Empire. We need the last piece. And somehow, you convinced the droid to show it to you. You. A scavenger --." You could see that she was afraid as to how you knew this information. "You know I can take whatever I want." He could sense a feeling of uneasiness going through her mind a mile a minute.

I shoot my hand out towards her face while she trys to back away, but cannot due to her being restrained. A certain feeling goes by, energy, and just like that, it's gone and forgotten.

She's trying to resist me but to no success. "You're so lonely... so afraid to leave...""At night, desperate to sleep... you imagine an ocean. I see it -- I see the island." She's crying now, she's still attempting to break free.

"And Han Solo. You feel like he's the father you never had. He would've disappointed you."

"Get out of my head!" I only lean closer towards her, my breath almost fanning her face.

"I know you've seen the map. It's in there... and now you'll give it to me. Don't be afraid. I feel it too."

"I'm not giving you.... anything." She says this with clenched teeth.

"We'll see." You stare into her eyes and she meets your gaze.

I can sense her start to put up barriers, blocking me out. I can feel her growing stronger as she attempts to get into my brain, and my thoughts.

"You... you're afraid... that you will never be as strong as... Darth Vader!"

I withdraw my head and step back, confused on how she was able to enter my mind.

I leave the interrogation room.

__________________________

As I'm walking back to my quarters, Hux spots me and starts to walk over. "Did you get the map from the girl?" "She will give it to me, give it a couple hours and she'll surrender." Hux looks at you with a scowl on his face. "I thought she was the whole key? That we didn't need the droid." Hux emphasized droid. I reach my hand out, force choking him. "Are you questioning my methods?" Hux begins to claw at his neck as his face starts to turn a shade of purple. You drop him to the ground where he starts coughing profusely. "Supreme Leader Snoke will not be happy about this." You didn't bother to answer as you walked away.

Y/N POV

You were dressed in sweatpants and a black tank top laying in bed, when you heard Kylo come in. You instantly shot up. "What happened?" "It's none of your concern Kitten." "The hell it is." You sneered. "Keep that attitude up and you'll be my concern." That seemed to shut you up. You were sitting on the bed with your arms crossed, a pissed off expression on your face. Your breath hitched when you saw Kylo coming over.

"You shouldn't be angry." Kylo reached out and uncrossed my arms. He took one on my hands into his leather gloves and was using his thumbs to trace circles on it leaving me to shiver from his touch. Kylo looked up at me and smirked. "My feisty kitten." Your face burned with embarrassment.

Suddenly the door burst open. It was a stormtrooper. "Sir, the Scavenger." Kylo slowly turned towards the door and the Stormtrooper fidgeted, obviously uncomfortable. "What about the Scavenger?" "She's escaped." Kylo was at the door in an instance, saber lit. "How has this happened." You could hear that Kylo was clenching his teeth in his mask, for his words came out more strained. "It appears she used some sort of mind-" Kylo sank his saber into the poor Stormtroopers chest that wasn't placed with armor. He immediately sank to the ground. "Don't leave this room y/n." As the door shut, you could hear him yelling.

Kylo POV

"I want this whole ship on lockdown!" Immediately my knights were trudging behind me. We searched the whole ship but couldn't find anything. What if she's already gone? I told my knights to split up. I start walking down the narrow platform to get to the other side, when I hear a voice calling to me.

"Ben!"


	10. Chapter 10

Kylo POV

"Ben!"

I turn around and see the face of my father. 

"Han Solo. I've been waiting for this day for a long time."

"Take off that mask, you don't need it." 

"What do you think you'll see if I do?" He steps closer. "The face of my son." Once I take off my helmet, he blinks back suprised. He hasn't seen my face since I was a kid.

"Your son is gone. He was weak and foolish, like his father. So I destroyed him.

"That's what Snoke wants you to believe but it's not true. My son is alive."

"No. The Supreme Leader is wise." 

"Snoke is using you for your power. When he gets what he wants, he'll crush you -- you know it's true." I hesitate, "It's too late."

"No it's not. Leave here with me. Come home. We miss you." 

"I'm being torn apart. I want to be free of this pain." I feel tears prickle my eyes. My father takes a step forward and stops. "I know what I have to do, but I don't know if I have the strength to do it. Will you help me?" 

"Yes. Anything." I unclip my saber from my belt and slowly start to give it to him. It stops just an inch from his chest. My father can't believe it, he smiles. 

All I see is darkness as I ignite my saber through my fathers chest and I bring it back out."Thank you."

He crumbles to the catwalk as he falls down into the abyss of space, dead. I wait for the strong, powerful feeling to overcome me. It never does. I hear a shot ring out and I don't have time to react as the sharp pain connects with my side, leading me to stumble. All of a sudden an explosion rings out, leaving the catwalk to almost crumble, untill I see them. The scavenger accompanied by one of my Stormtroopers. I see them run off and I go to follow them.

\-----------------------------------------------------

"We're not done yet."

"You're a monster!"

"It's just us now. Han Solo can't save you." She takes a step forward with the blaster in her hands. I use the force to knock the blaster out of her hands and then to send her flying back, slamming into a tree.

"Rey! Rey! Rey... Rey... Oh no. Oh no no no..."

"TRAITOR!" "That lightsaber. It belongs to me!"

"Come get it." I'm impressed that he was able to block some of my counter attacks, raging me more. I get the advantage to strike his torso, sending the saber up, and it landing a mere feet away. I turn off my saber and reach for Luke's, using the force.

It speeds past me and into the Scavenger's hand, I ignite my saber,

Suprisingly she's very skilled for someone who has no experience. It is making it difficult as we continue to battle, as she keeps blocking when I go to strike.

"You need a teacher! I can show you the ways of the Force!"

She stops for a minute and closes her eyes. She then lunges at me and strikes hard, leaving me unbalanced. She strikes my saber hilt, sending it flying and continues to keep striking me harder untill she hits me in the head and chest. A burning sensation running through my face. It dawns on me that she could kill me, but is stopped by a crack in the cliff. I fall into a state of unconsiousness.

\------------------------------

Y/N POV

I saw everything. I saw Kylo kill his father, how he looked so vulnerable. Kylo could've changed, I saw it in his eyes. Then I saw him get shot in the side, I screamed and pounded on the window. I saw Kylo's eyes follow up to something. I traced it up to the Scavenger. She was with a boy, and they immediately bolted, I saw Kylo follow them. I ran in the direction to where Kylo was going. "Kylo let me go with you!" "No I need to finish this, It's too dangerous for you." He signaled one of his knights to come over. He started leading me away, his hands digging into my arms. I thrashed and yelled,"Kylo no!" Tears streaming down my face. I hope he's going to be ok.

\----------------------------------

The knight that looked after me had to leave with the others, claimed there was an emergency. Immediately my breath catched in my throat. Was it Kylo? My questions were answered when I saw Kylo, unconsious, surrounded my medical staff. The side of his face was burned and his side was burned from the shot. I got up and started following after them but was held back. Not again."Let me go! I need to be with Kylo!" He threw me over his shoulder as I was kicking and screaming for him to put me down. He threw me into his quarters and shut the door, locking it. I continously was yelling and crying, bandging onto the door. "Please, you don't understand." I wailed. All of crying and yelling and banging on the door had me exauhasted. I curled into a ball and fell asleep sobbing on the floor.

When I woke up the next morning, my head was pounding and my body was stiff. Next time maybe not go to sleep on the floor. I picked myself and went to take a shower, shampooing my hair with Kylo's shampoo. My face had large circles underneath my eyes because I cried so much. I got dressed in on of his black shirts that were a million size too big for me, and a pair of my black shorts. I went to the door praying that it was unlocked. I pushed open the door to see two knights guarding it. They must've unlocked the door earlier this morning. 

"Where's Kylo?"


	11. Chapter 11

Warning: food disorder talk and treatment, beginning of smut.

"You were unbalanced, bested by a girl who had never held a lightsaber! YOU FAILED!!! Skywalker lives! The seed of the Jedi Order lives! As long as he does... hope lives in the galaxy. I thought you would be the one to snuff it out. Alas, you're no Vader. You're just a child... in a mask."

Just a child in a mask.

I stand in the elevator, those 6 words haunting me. I can't get it out of my head. I stare at my helmet in my hands. A child. I ram my helmet into the panels of the elevator. As I stare back at my mask, I see that in some places it cracked. I ram it over and over again unitll only pieces are left of it.

Y/N POV

I haven't seen Kylo since he was at Medbay. He wouldn't let me see him, and then he left me alone. I hate to admit it, but I missed him. Instead of wallowing in bed the whole day like I have been doing, I decide to go do some training. I've lost a lot of weight recently, one of the nurses comes down everyday to stick a tube down my nose that reaches all the way into my stomach to feed me because I refuse to feed myself. It's not that I don't like eating, I just forget and decide to ignore it for the rest of the day. I change into some sweats and a black tank top. As I open the door, the two knights guarding my room, Ap'lek and Ushar, turn to me, their weapons held. I haven't seen Vicrul since Kylo got hurt, not that I should be worrying about seeing Vicrul from Kylo's threats from me seeing him again. "Relax, I'm just going to go work out." They followed me as I walked my way to the training room but they stopped outside. Their guarding me as I work out? You sighed.

When you were fully satisfied with your workout, you left the training room, the Knights behind you like puppies. You snickered. You entered Kylo's quarters, immediately heading to the shower. Same routine, wash your hair with Kylo's shampoo. Smelling the shampoo that he would use made you feel slightly less lonely, but it was never enough. This is so pathetic. You exited the bathroom in only a towel, but almost had a heart attack as you stepped out.

"Kylo?" He didn't look up, you could tell something was happening inside him. The man just killed his father, who knows whats swarming in his mind. You walk over to him and sit next to him on the bed. You lay your head on his shoulder. Well he's not shaking me off, so thats a good sign. You didn't want to speak, you knew he wanted silence, you weren't going to be the one that ruined it for him. You felt his gloved hand reach out to yours, opening your hand and enclosed it with his. You felt a blush creep across your face, butterflies erupting in your stomach.

"Y/N." You turned to look at him and gasped. A scar was running through his face. You let go of Kylo's hand and reached it out towards his face, stopping. "May I?" He nodded. You let your finger trace the scar that was now pink against his skin. His eyes closed. You felt a tear escape and roll down your cheek. "She did this. Didn't she?" You absolutely despised her, you wanted her dead for all you care. Kylo leaned his cheek into your hand. "I'm alright, now. Now that I'm here with you." You looked up into his eyes, with a suprised expression on your face. You and Kylo kept your eyes locked with one another. He glanced down, you were still wearing only a towel. You shifted under his gaze. "You've been losing weight." He didn't say it as a question, more as fact. "Yeah I forget to eat." Your face turning red, you were embarrased to tell Kylo this. How ironic that this is what made you embarrased when he's seen you naked.

He runs his gloved finger onto your collarbone making you shiver and writhe away from his touch. You jump when you hear the door knock. You get off the bed and into your closet. Kylo still sat on the bed shocked as to why you left so quick. "It's the nurse." you said. Kylo nodded his head and went to go open the door. You changed into a black long sleeve and black sweatpants.

The most uncomfortable part about being tube fed is them putting the tube in, and taking it back out. The nurse has also started to put an IV to give me my medications, as getting tube fed everyday makes me dizzy and cranky. Not common but seems to happen with me. I sit back on the bed and wait for the nurse to set everything up. Kylo joins me on the other side, clearly interested. I squeeze Kylo's hand as the nurse start to push the tube down in my nose, I start to rise off the bed, but Kylo holds me in place as she does her job. I will never get used to this. Ever. Once the tube is set in place I lie back. As the nurse goes to steralize the needle for the IV, I see Kylo staring at me intently. "You don't hate me." I sigh. "I can't seem to hate you, it's impossible." He leans down and places a kiss on my lips. A kiss! I press into his lips to deepen in, when he pulls away. His face inches from my face, "Later." We both smirk and I lay back on the pillow. The nurse comes back and sticks the needle into my arm, connecting it to a drip. I can immediately find myself getting sleepy as my head falls onto his shoulder.

\------------------------------------------------

Kylo POV

She falls asleep onto my shoulder. My poor kitten all poked and proded, and to think she has to go through this everyday. I try and fall asleep with her but my mind will not shut down. I settle on running my fingers through her hair.

At 2 am, the nurse comes back in. I gently nudge y/n onto the pillow, she whimpers due to the lost of contact. I run my fingers through her hair, "y/n wake up." Her eyes fluttered open, "What time is it?" She scans the room and sees the nurse, she nods her head. I scoot behind y/n and lean her back into my chest, cradeling her into my arms. She tenses and holds my arms as the nurse pulls the tube from her nose. She coughs and gags, I'm almost afraid she'll throw up. The nurse hands her a cup of water which she takes graciously. She leans back into my chest and winces as the nurse pulls her IV needle out.

Once the nurse leaves, my hands go under her shirt, she immediately squirms in my grasp. Her breath starts to quicken, "Kylo." I move my hand to cup her breasts, my hands pulling at her nipples. I feel her start to grind against me.

"What are you doing to me Kitten?"


	12. Chapter 12

Kylo POV

My hands continue to explore her chest untill I find the hem of her long sleeve and I pull it over her head. She arches her back as her head rests on my shoulders. I soon find my way into the waistband of her sweatpants, my fingers trailing around the hem. Her breath hitches as her eyes fluttered closed, her long lashes cascading her cheeks. She was beautiful. My fingers traced her inner thighs. "Kylo please." She whimpered. I whisper in her ear, "What do you want?" I nuzzle my nose into her hair. "I want you."

I take that as my cue to turn her around so that shes facing me. I move a strand of her hair onto her ear and press my lips onto her. I deepen the kiss as I push her down onto the bed. My tongue devours her and I break the kiss, but pull on her bottom lip enough that I hear her groan. I move to slide her sweatpants off along with her panties. My kitten. Exposed. I move her legs outwards and go to lick her clit. She lifts off the bed, but I put my hand on her stomach to keep her in place. My tongue swirls around, dipping in and out, while y/n mewls. I start to trace my tongue on her inner thigs continuing down her leg, then doing the same to her other leg.

I go to unzip my pants, I tease her entrance, making her inch forward. I chuckle at her,"Patience." I sink into her, pulling her legs onto my shoulders. "Oh my stars, faster Kylo." I pound relentlessly in her, untill I feel her coming close. "Cum with me Kitten."

I collaspe onto her as I catch my breath. I quickly adjust myself and pull my pants back on. I craddle y/n into my arms and tuck her in.

Y/N POV

When I wake up, Kylo isn't next to me anymore. I frown. So much for a good morning. I dress in a black halter top with black leggings. I make my way towards the training room, seeing the Knights already standing guard at the entrance. You flutter your lashes as they come into view, "Boys." You step through the door and see Kylo. He barely acknowledges me. "Um hello." He turns around, mask less. "We're doing saber training today."

You were starting to get agitated at Kylo during training. Not once would he take it easy on you as you kept falling to the ground after countless attempts. Your arms were getting sore, your breaths labored. You stood in the corner with your hands on your knees, gasping for air as sweat trickled down your body. "We're going again." "Kylo give me a second." Kylo twirled his saber, inpatient. You finally get up but instead of going to Kylo, you try and practice your moves before facing him for yet again another beating. Kylo was impossible to train with, he never gets tired and he was just that good. Training with him felt like trying to break a rock.

You swing your saber from side to side. You then swing it around your head and slide clean through the body of the dummy in front of you. You grin, pleased with your work. You then turn to face Kylo who was watching you intently. "Make this last attempt count y/n." You both stand at the end of the mat until Kylo gives you the signal to start, you run towards him at full speed. He swings his saber towards you and slide on the ground, under it. You make your way to your feet as he turns and starts towards you again. He swings his saber in a circle as he stalks towards you and lunges. You nearly move out of the way just in time. You swing your lightsaber over your head and hit against his saber. You both push against one another. Your arms were growing tired as Kylo was much more heavier than you. "I need a time out Kylo." you said, gritting you're teeth. "Your enemy will give you no time out." He breaks away, exasperated. He runs his hand through his hair then comes to face you. "This will be the only and last time that I will do that. Do not expect me to give you the easy way out because your tired."

"What crawled up your ass today." you mumbled. "What was that?" "It's not my fault that I get tired from training all day when you're basically built like a rock." "I had more expectations from you y/n. You can't quit during a battle. I should've kept going and defeated you. Have you ever beat me in training once? I thought I've taught you better." You felt your face getting hot as your tears brimmed with tears. All you wanted was to get into a cold bath to relax your muscles. But instead you were here with the biggest asshole in the galaxy.

Fuck him. Fuck all of this. You got up and stormed out the door not looking back. As you walked down the hall, you could hear footsteps. You ran faster to get towards Kylo's quarters already knowing what was to come. You ran into the bathroom and slammed the door, locking it. "Y/n, come out now." you could practically hear him growling. "Oh really? And why should I? So you can tell me how much I suck in training?" You heard the door unlock. Oh shit.

Kylo dragged you out by your hair and slammed you against the wall. He took your jaw into his grasp. "What the hell is your problem y/n?" "You." Kylo scoffed. "I knew you would get like this." "And what's the supposed to mean?" You push him off of you, and stalk towards the door again. "I knew last night was a mistake." You stop in your tracks. "What?" "Last night should've never happened! It was a mistake, it won't happen again. Ever." You freeze in your spot. Your eyes see red as you charge up to Kylo and slap him in the face, your hand stinging. "Fuck you. Fuck the first order. Fuck all of this." You turn around to leave and feel your head collide to the wall. You sink to the floor, curled in a ball, as you feel a warm liquid ooze down your arm. Motherfucker.

"Are you done with your tantrum? Because I assure you that you won't win." You lay there mute. A mistake? How could you believe that Kylo could be nice and gentle like the other night? "Just kill me." You look up at him with pleading eyes. You feel him grasp your jaw once again and try to writhe out of his grip. "What's the fun in that? Pet."

You see his boots walk away and the door slam. You laid on the ground for what seemed like hours. You slowly wobbled out the door into the cold hallways.

Your feet carry you into the Knights quarters. Surprisingly the door was unlocked. It's quiet when you step in it, as if no one is here. You were about to leave when you heard Vicrul call your name.


	13. Chapter 13

"What happened to your head?" You shrugged your shoulders, not really wanting to let him know the answer. Vicrul takes my small hand into his gloved one. "C'mon, let me clean it." You follow behind him as he leads you to his bed. You sit down while he goes to retrieve a first aid kit. You feel out of place, but shake off the feeling. He comes back and sits, telling you to sit down in front of him, your back against his chest. You tilt your head to the side, as he brushes your hair out of the way. You feel the stinging pain of alcohol being applied to your cut and you tense up. "Relax." "Well you don't need stitches." He finishes off by applying some type of liquid to your cut. "Do you have a shirt I can borrow?" He freezes but quickly recovers.

You follow him to his dresser where he picks out a black shirt a million sizes too big. "Bathroom is straight ahead." You thank him and quickly start the shower, eager to be under scalding hot water. As you wash your hair, you think about what Kylo said. Should've never happened. A mistake. You rid your head out of these thoughts and quickly scrub yourself, eager to get some sleep in away from Kylo. You towel dry your hair enough that its not soaking wet but damp and you slip on the large shirt. The shirt is long enough that you decide to not put on your undergartments. Plus that is unsanitary and gross. You find a new toothbrush while searching the cabinets and brush your teeth with it. Once you exit the bathroom, you jump at seeing Vicrul still laying on the bed.

"Sorry, I can leave." He was already starting to get up. "No, no. Um.. can you actually stay?" Your cheeks were burning you were sure anyone from a 30 mile radious could see. "Yeah sure." He patted a spot on his bed. You grinned and looked away. His bed was soft, with silk sheets just like Kylo's. You laid on your back as you felt him get in next to you. Oh what has my life become? You could feel Vicrul look at you. You looked back at him with doe eyes. "You're so beautiful." You instantly felt warmth spread throughout your body. You gasped when you felt his thumb brush across your cheeks and then onto your bottom lip. You reached your hand out to his, waiting to see if he'll take it. He did. You weaved your fingers through his and let out a sigh as you moved to lay on top of him, settling your head onto the crook of his neck. He started placing kisses in your hair then onto your forhead and nose, then onto the apples of your cheeks. You only snuggled closer into him. He went back to stroking your hair, "go to sleep." he whispered. And you did just that.

You woke up still tangled into Vicrul's embrace. Had you not moved the whole night? You tried to remove yourself from Vicrul's iron grip but he only tightened it. You chuckled into his chest. "I love that sound." You picked your head up and saw Vicrul looking directly at you. Vicrul frowned,"What happens when Supreme Leader finds out about us?" "Let him find out." Vicrul pressed his lips onto yours. His lips were soft and nice. You both pulled back with a pant. You could've sworn he was grinning like the Cheshire cat.

Vicrul finally talked you into eating some food, knowing that this was well damn good than getting a tube shoved down your throat. "So what are you doing today?" "Nothing, Supreme Leader is out on a mission with two other knights that doesn't include me." "Oh so that means we can be with each other the whole day?" "Don't push it." You laughed and fell back onto Vicrul's chest. You fell back on the pillow with a thud, Vicrul following soon after you. "Well I'm full." You felt Vicrul's finger graze your thigh, your breath hitched. "I know what you're doing." "Oh really? What am I doing?" You glared at him, earning a small pinch. "That's it." You sat up and took your pillow, hitting him in the face with it. "Oh you're in trouble now." Vicrul pulled you onto his chest almost as if you were straddaling him. You both gazed down at each other, locking eyes. You pressed your lips onto his with more force, and he quickly slipped his tongue into yours. His hands reached down to the bottom of your shirt, his hands grazing your ass. You broke the kiss momentarily while he pulled his shirt over your head. You were now completely bare in his eyes. "Stars you are beautiful." He reached down to cup your breasts, gently squeezing them. His fingers roamed your neck, occupied Kylo's collar. "I don't think you need this anymore." You nodded in agreement. His hands found the latch to the collar and threw it to the floor, his fingers squeezing your neck. You moved off to unzip his pants. He was definitely close to Kylo, that was for sure. You gently lowered yourself onto his length, grabbing his biceps for support.

You started to rock back and fourth, eventually picking up speed. "Fuck I'm gon-." You laid your head down on your chest as you both rode through your orgasms. You gently slid off and cuddled back into his side. Vicrul pulled his pants back up and pulled the covers against the both of you. He ran his fingers through your hair and gave you a kiss on the forehead and then the nose. "You are so amazing. You know that?" You did know. You wrapped your arms around his chest and fell into a blissful sleep.


	14. Chapter 14

You woke up sweating as you were tangled into Vicrul's embrace. He was snoring, loudly. His face laid in the crook of your neck. You tried nudging him off. Nothing. You tried a little harder this time, maybe a little too hard as he fell off the bed. You tried to stiffle your laugh. You saw Vicrul pick his head up, "The stars was that for?" "Sorry, sorry. I just have to get going is all. You were snoring on me." you laghed as Vicrul walked over to your dresser and handed you your clothes which were folded neatly. "The maid must've washed them." Vicrul shrugged. "Thanks." You walked to the bathroom and discarded your wrinkly clothes. You stepped out of the bathroom to where Vicrul was.

"I'll walk you out." You started to follow him towards the bedroom door, "Are you sure that's the best idea?" you said as you were walking towards the center of the knights quarters. You heard whistles and were horrified to see all the knights lounging on the sofa having a drink. "Wow Vicrul, you have some balls." Your face was on fire. You only meekly smiled at the knights. "How was it y/n?" "Ok guys thats enough." Vicrul started walking you towards the door. As you were about to step out and leave, Vicrul spun you around and placed a quick peck on your lip, and shut the door. Not fast enough as you heard Ap'lek say, "Did you guys do it?" You shook your head, a grin on your face. The knights were more like a bunch of hormonal teenage boys.

You walked to Kylo's quarters, scanning your hand on the pannel. Your eyes snapped to a frail lady. "Um hello." "Ah Miss. Y/n. I am so honored to meet you." She bowed. "We must get you ready, come along." You stood there dumbfounded. "I'm sorry? Ready for what?" "Why your wedding of course! Supreme leader has picked out your dress." You felt your mouth go dry, your head spinning. Kylo knows. He's doing this as a punishment. You felt stiff in place, until the woman started to drag you towards the bathroom, did u step out of your thoughts. A wedding? This must've been his plan all along. "I'll wait for you outside dear." You thanked her. You could feel rage building up inside of you. You stared at the broken mirror shattered to pieces. Cuts were forming on your knuckles as you stripped out of your clothes and went towards the shower. You couldn't even feel the water burning you. You felt numb, defeated almost. Kylo won. He broke you. Selfish prick.

You stepped out of the shower in only a towel and opened the door to find the lady hanging your dress up. She leaded you a to a seat in front of a mirror. You sat their silent as she did your hair, yourthoughts running through your mind. You felt utterly disgusted on what was to come. You wanted to punch Kylo in that big nose of his, hoping it gushed blood. "Finished!" You looked back at yourself in the mirror to see your long hair in loose curls. She led you to your dresser and handed you your undergarment, but spotted a black corset. Oh he is just pushing it isn't he. You went to the bathroom to change, zipping the corset up. When you walked out, she helped you tighten the corset up. It was too tight, but you held your tongue. She grabbed the dress from the hanger, setting it on the ground so that you step in it. She helped you to pull it up so that you wouldn't tear the fabric. She had you step into a pair of black stiletto heels. You did feel regal, but in the worst possible way ever. Royalty in the first order? You were disgusted. She finished off with putting minimal blush on your cheeks, some mascara and a red lip. "Well dear my time is up. The storms troopers will escort you when it is time." With that she scurried out. You didn't even get her name.

You looked at yourself in the mirror and scoffed. You just wanted to crawl under the bed for eternity, but no. You had to marry one of the most selfish man in the history of the galaxy. Kylo doesn't care about you, he never did. You were a fool to believe you were different or that he could change.

You heard your door open, but you didn't look that way, knowing what's coming next. "Y/n. The Supreme Leader awaits." You picked up your long ass dress and trudged to the door. Stormtroopers surrounded you, the ones behind you picking up the train of your dress. They led you to huge doors, which opened from the inside. 2 stormtroopers stood on opposite side of the door. The room was huge, aisles of seats all occupied by First Oder staff. A long black table in the corner with chairs and a row of food. And off to the side a corner where guests would dance later during the night. Candles were almost on every table, making the room dim. A huge chandelier hanging from the celing. It didn't take you long to see Kylo. He was dressed in his normal attire without his mask. Look at him all smug. You wanted to gag. The stormtroopers nudged you out of your gaze and pushed the small back of your back to move forward. You linked your arm with the stormtrooper as he led you the middle where Kylo stood, a man behind him. You saw the Knights sitting there, your eyes pleading as they started to tear up. You didn't want this. You couldn't do this, it was too much. You spotted Hux, a cat sat on his lap. Hux had a cat? You heard Kylo clear his throat, but you only looked down at his feet. 

The man behind him spoke, "We are here today, to crown Miss Y/n, as she will become Mrs. Ren, and heir to the throne along with our Supreme Leader." You shivered during his whole sentence, a vile taste spreading your mouth. "Miss Y/n." You look up to see his face. "Do you promise your loyalty to the First Order." No. "Yes I do." "Do you promise to be faithful, kind, and honest to your husband? Helping him in times of need and aid." Fuck no. "Yes." Kylo repeated the same things which you pretty much zoned out untill you felt his hand reach out for yours. You recoiled at first but realized he was sliding a ring on your finger. It was nice, silver with a big diamond in the middle. The man handed you a ring and you slid it on Kylo's finger, still not looking into his gaze.

"I now pronounce you, husband and wife."


	15. Chapter 15

You let Kylo place a peck on your lips and broke away before he could get any further in his attempt. You felt something heavy being placed on your head. You had no choice when Kylo linked his arm through yours and led you towards the table. You were in no mood to eat even if the food looked delicious. You sat and watched all the other guests instead. They're lucky. They don't have to be married to this prick.

The knights were savagely gulfing down the food as if they hadn't eaten for ages. They looked like a bunch of dogs. Hux sat across from Kylo, Hux from your point of view, was absolutely digusted of the Knights table manners. His facial expressions making you laugh. At least one thing can come out this night. You felt a brush across your leg and looked down to see Hux's cat. "Well aren't you just the cutest thing ever." You reached down and pulled the cat into your lap, petting it's head. "Her name is Millicent." "Well she's lovely." Hux gave you a smile. You spent the rest of the time at the table petting Millicent while others were still eating. Some were already slow dancing with one another. "You should eat." "I lost my appetite." "I don't care. Eat."

You pushed your chair back, Millicent still in hand, and went to go walk towards the knights who were all standing together. You set the cat down before you spoke, "Some lame party." They all turned their heads your way. You could feel a hand brush yours. Vicrul. You wrapped your hand in his, enclosing it. "Mrs. Ren." You snapped out of your gaze to see Kylo. "May I have a dance?" You didn't answer as you walked towards him, not that he'd take no for an answer. He led you into the middle of the room, placing his hands at the small of your back, your hands wrapped around his neck looking at the ground. "You know why I had to do this right?" You didn't answer. You felt him pinch your hip, you glared at him. "Really Kitten? My Knight. Do you really think I'm that clueless?" He leaned where his lips met your ear, "I am going to destroy you tonight." He pulled back, "Vicrul will be punished, don't worry." He let go of your hip, and put a finger under your chin, "Nice try Kitten, you might've thought you won the battle, but I just won the whole war." He left you standing in the middle, you felt as pale as a ghost.

You decided to ditch the rest of the party and found yourself outside in the snow. You were cold as hell, but no way were you going back in there now. You stood mute watching the snow come down. It was peaceful and beautiful, the forest with the snow coating the ground. You looked down at the ring on your finger. 'Is this what my life has become?' Kylo must have wondered where you were, but you couldn't have cared less.

"Y/n." You turned around to see Vicrul. Your heart took a leap as you ran to hug him. He took you in his arms spinning. There were tears spilling down your cheeks. Vicrul set you down, never taking his hand out of yours. "We shouldn't be doing this, I'm already in trouble with Kylo." You rolled your eyes. You eyed your ring and shifted it between your finger. "And now we're married." You scoffed. You felt Vicrul's gloved hand wipe your tears away. You leaned your face into his palm and sighed. "He will never let us be together, that's why he did this. To mark me as his, and to show everyone." "I will wait for you y/n."

Your face slowly started to come up to look into his eyes, or where you thought where his eyes were because he had his mask on. "You deserve someone else to make you happy, not me. I belong to Kylo, his words not mine." "Y/n you mean everything to me. You make me happy. I will wait if that's what it takes." You nodded your head. You leaned into Vicrul's chest, resting your head as he stroke your hair.

"You look very beautiful tonight." "Thank you. I guess Kylo does have some sense of style from only wearing a black robe his whole life." "Y/n." You quickly stepped away from Vicrul to see Kylo standing at the door. Vicrul took that as his cue to leave, leaving you with an agitated Kylo. This cannot be good.

You crossed your arms, "I hope you're happy that you ruined the first good thing to come from this shit ship. And a shit commander." Oh you were bold tonight. "Did you not enjoy the party?" Oh he had some nerve. "Of course I didn't enjoy the party. This wedding was for show. You don't care about me. You are a selfish prick who will do anything to manipulate someone into doing what you want. You are a monster." Kylo stepped closer to you. "Yes I am."

He swung his hand over your face and your mind went black.

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When you woke up you were on a bed, Kylo's bed, on your stomach with your hands tied behind your back. You tried to wiggle them but the rope dug into your wrists even more searing your skin into a burn. "Motherfucker." You were left in only your black thong. Why did he leave that on? I'm basically naked? How thoughtful. You scoffed. Your ankles were tied with the same rope. Hopefully the rope would cut the circulation off and you can die.

You heard the door open. Ah fuck. You saw Kylo's boot at the edge of the bed and a searing pain at your scalp as he turned your head to look at him. You conjured all the spit you could and spit in his face. You felt a harsh slap to your cheek.

You quickly recovered, "You hit like a girl, Ren." He landed another blow on the opposite cheek. You could already feel your cheeks tingling at the sensation. He grasped your hair harder and you winced. "We'll see about that once I'm done with you."


	16. Chapter 16

CHAPTER WARNING: BONDAGE, BEATING, BURNING, CHOKING, NO AFTERCARE, and beginning of smut at the end. PLEASE DO NOT READ, THE BEGINNING IS EXTREMELY DISTURBING, SO PLEASE READ AT YOUR OWN RISK.

I bet my screams could be heard all throughout the ship.

Kylo relentlessly kept beating my backside with his belt, never giving me any breaks in between. My mind kept slipping out of consiousness as my body was on fire with pain. I didn't even notice that Kylo flipped me over onto my back and I wailed as the red welts came into contact with the bed sheets. Kylo tugged at my chin harshly, and slipped his gloved fingers into my mouth. I immediately started to gag at the taste of leather, which just made him push his finger in further. I felt tears stream down my face like a waterfall, along with drool tumbling onto my breasts. It was becoming very difficult to breathe and Kylo clearly noticed this as he was no rush to stop. I felt my mind become dotted as I struggled for any oxygen to come in. Finally his fingers came out and I was left in a coughing mess. I could hear the faint buzz of his saber come to life, but I was too tired and focused on getting oxygen back into my brain. I knew I would have enourmous red welts around my arms and ankles where they had been tied down by the rope during Kylo's physical torment on me. I don't know how long this has gone for, and I didn't know if he'd ever stop.

You felt searing pain erupt onto your thighs and realized his saber was piercing into your burning flesh. Your throat was becoming dry from screaming so much, and the smell of your burning flesh and the leather taste of Kylo's gloves were getting too much. Kylo must've gotten tired of your constant screams as he stuffed one of his gloves in your mouth, adding more insult to the injury. You were pretty much incoherent to what he was doing, practically falling into consiousness as you could still feel his saber across your skin. You felt a harsh grasp on your jaw, and the glove being taken out of your mouth. "Don't you ever disrespect me again."

You felt the ropes being cut of of you, his cuts sloppy, as Kylo did not care whether he cut you. You were in too of a daze to move, so you layed there beaten, cut and burned.

\-----------------------------------------

The next morning was not a fun one in the bit. You couldn't move at all, Kylo didn't even bother to tend to your wounds. You heard the door open, but were extremely exausted to open your eyes. "Mrs. Ren?" You recognized the voice to be the woman who dressed you for your wedding. "I'm here to tend to your wounds and dress you." You didn't care that you were naked, as you let her help you take slow steps to guide you towards the tub. Every step you would take on your feet, was a jolt amount of pain shooting up to your back. She carefully placed you to sit in the tub as she turned the faucet to lukewarm, letting it fill as you laid your head back over the edge. Kylo beat you everywhere. Back of your thighs reaching up to the middle of your back. You hissed in pain as the water came into contact with all your welts and the burning on your thighs. The name 'Kylo' on one thigh and 'Ren on the other. When you went touch your jaw you winced, probably bruised. She gently washed your hair with shampoo that smelled of lavender which calmed you in a sense. After she carefully helped you from the tub she blow dried my hair. She made me lay on my stomach and started rubbing something on my welts. It hurt like hell on earth. Don't even get me started on how it felt when she had to rub it on my scared flesh on my thighs.

She dressed me in another black gown that reached the floor, I decided on wearing flats instead of my heels this time. The pain was getting to be more bearable with whatever she rubbed into my skin. She braided my hair into a waterfall braid and tried to cover up some of the bruising on my cheek to no success. "The Supreme Leader is waiting for you to accompany him to the speech given by the General this evening. Go now." You thanked her for everything and went towards the door where a stormtrooper was waiting. The walk didn't take long and soon you pushed open the door to see Kylo accompanied by the Knights.

"Well don't you look beautiful this morning. Wouldn't you agree Knights? Bow for your Supreme Leader." The Knights all came down on one knee, bowing their heads. "Thank you for that lovely introduction, Kylo." You could tell that he was agitated from you using his first name. The Knights all stood in the back as Kylo rose from his seat, his height towering you. His thumb lingered on the bruise on your jaw and you held your breath. You swear you could hear a chuckle coming from under his mask. "Take that hideous thing off." You gestured to the knights, "Leave us." The Knights shuffled around towards the door as you turned to see the last Knight close the door. When you turned back to Kylo, his mask was on the table. Well here goes nothing.

You conjured up all the anger you have had over the last days and swung your fist which connected to Kylo's cheek. It hurt, but it felt extremely satisfying to know that you punched Kylo's smug face in. He seemed unaffected by it as he charged towards you. I let out a yelp as my hair was being tugged and my lower half was hanging over the table. "Is this how you treat you're Supreme Leader? After all I've done for you?" You mean beat me senseless and burn me? You felt your dress being hiked up and a finger tugging down your lace thong.

You groaned as you felt Kylo's finger plunge into your core. "So wet and eager are we? Or was it because you punched me?" You felt a slap on your backside which jutted you forward.

You heard the door open, it was Vicrul.


	17. Chapter 17

SMUT IN THE BEGINING

To you're horror, Vicrul sat in one of the chairs across from you. You couldn't fight the moans that were slipping through your mouth as Kylo's finger kept plunging in and out. Soon after, Kylo slammed into you, as if not caring Vicrul was watching you get destroyed on the table. Kylo pulled your hair so hard that you arched your back and you could hear his mouth next to you're ear. "You naughty girl. Do you like my Knight watching you come undone as you take my cock?" You didn't answer as you could feel your face getting beet red. "Don't get embarrased now." You could barely even answer the question as you were coming close. "I want you to look at him as i'm fucking you." Kylo would not let go of your hair and used his other finger to rub onto your clit. "Shit Kylo." "Cum for me." You let out a yell as Kylo never stopped pounding into you as your orgasm broke loose. No later did you feel Kylo spill into your cunt. You were too dazed as you laid your head on the cold glass table, trying to control your breaths. Your face still felt hot and your dress now felt suffocating. You heard the door close and you wondered if you were alone with Kylo.

Once you regained some contol, you reached down pulling your thong up and patted your dress down. You were definitely not expecting that to happen. You were extremely flustered. "My hair is runied." "I can fix it, turn around." Kylo braided your hair and made sure to leave some pieces in the front so it would frame your face. It made you feel soft inside. "Thank you." You said it so quiet you didn't know if he heard you or not. Kylo turned you around to face him, but you were embarrased to look in his eyes over the events that had just occured. "Look at me." You slowly peeled your eyes from the floor to fix them on his face, his scar now pink since the last time you saw it. His finger grasped your jaw so that you were fully on his face and that your head couldn't turn away. "You're welcome." Kylo kissed you on your forehead and traced his thumb on your bottom lip. "Come along Mrs.Ren." He held out his hand and you took it as you exited out of the room.

\---------------------

You didn't share one glance with the Knights. You only looked straight ahead and focused on Kylo's hand in yours. 

\--------------------------

Kylo and I were standing on some sort of stage area outside. Stormtroopers all in the audience and some behind Kylo and I.

"Today is the end of the Republic! The end of a regime that acquiesces to this order! At this very moment in a system far from here, the New Republic lies to the galaxy while secretly supporting the treachery of the loathsome Resistance. This fierce machine which you have built, upon which we stand, will bring an end to the Senate! To their cherished fleet! All remaining systems will BOW to the FIRST ORDER!! And will remember this... AS THE LAST DAY OF THE REPUBLIC!!!"

You weren't really interested in what Hux had to say, untill you saw moving pieces in the sky explode. "What just happened?" "The First Order destroyed some planets we deemed not useful to us or the galaxy." You were shocked at how calm Kylo seemed to be in destroying someone's planet and their life along with it. "Why?" "Because we can." You scoffed. Does this man have any remorse whatsoever?

\----------------------------------

You were sitting with Kylo in his quarters eating dinner. Well, he was eating, you were picking at your food with your fork. "Kitten what's wrong? You haven't touched your food." "I'm fine, just not hungry." You pushed away from the table and walked towards the big window with a view of the galaxy in Kylo's room. You sighed. Things were different now. You were married to Kylo Ren, who would've thought. No longer were you some Scavenger on Jakku. 

You felt some heavy hands on your shoulder and felt Kylo's chin resting on your head. "The whole galaxy will be ours soon." You stayed silent not knowing what to say. You could feel Kylo's finger begin to undue your braid and begin running his fingers through your hair. You didn't mean to lean into his touch, it just happened. "Look at you, pratically purring." Kylo turned your body around so that you were facing him, when he reached his hand out and began rubbing circles onto your cheek. You closed your eyes at this feeling, your lips parted. You felt Kylo's lips on yours not a second later. You welcomed him as his tongue entered your mouth. You made a low grumble in your throat, when Kylo pulled away. "Sleep." Kylo took your hand and led you towards the bed, you slipped your dress off only leaving you in a thong from this morning while you climbed under the sheets. Kylo changed into a pair of sweatpants. You were shocked when he climbed under the covers with you. "You know for this being your room, I sure don't see you sleep here often." "That's because I never sleep." You turned to look at him, "Why?" "Too much in my head for me to sleep. I have more important matters to deal with. Enough questions, go to sleep." You moved closer to him and you laid your head on his chest with your arms wrapped around his torso. He wrapped his arms around my smaller torso, and we fell asleep.

\------------------

You awoke the next morning showered and full with breakfeast. "I have a meeting I want you to attend with me, hurry and get dressed and the stormtroopers will escort you.

When you looked out your door, there was no stormtrooper, you went back in the room to check Kylo's coordinates so you can find out where he was, and you were on your way. Turns out he was just in the same meeting room from yesterday. You were walking down a hallway before you had to turn the corner to get to the room when you felt a sharp pull of your arm, and your head colliding with a wall.


	18. Chapter 18

I stumble and try and regain my balance. I look up and see the scavenger standing before me. What the hell? How did she get here? 

At the last moment, I duck from her attack and manage to get to the otherside of the room. Ok think. Remember all your training you did with Kylo. Too bad you didn't have your saber on you. "Don't worry, this will be quick." She lit up her saber and started to stalk towards you. Oh fuck. You grabbed onto anything and threw it her way so she'd eventually get tired. "Enough!" You felt yourself froze in place, no matter how hard you tried to break her force connection, she was just way stronger. At least now I'm gonna die. She walked closer to you and swung her saber and stopped it just as it would hit your neck. You decided that all you could do in this situation is stay calm, then trying to fight your fate of death.

The door swung open and Kylo walked into the room with his Knights. Welp, I guess I'm not dying after all. Great. Kylo was much stronger than the scavenger was as he waved his hand and she crashed into the wall. Her force connection on you was broken. "Its about time." You went and stood next to Kylo as you stared at the scavenger who was now laying unconsious on the floor. "Just bother me when she wakes up." "Ap'lek, escort her to my quarters."

Ap'lek walked behind you as you made your way to Kylo's room, ready to jump under his silk covers. Ap'lek walked inside with you and plopped on the couch. "Um, you don't have to stay you know. You can guard me from outside." "Supreme Leader requested that I stay in sight of you." You rolled your eyes and muttered under your breath, "Of course he did." "So what, you're going to watch me sleep?" Ap'lek gave no answer meaning that he was. Stars this is ridculous. You wanted to get out of your dress too but were too lazy to change into clothes. "Um.... Ap'lek, can you unzip my dress for me?" Ap'lek got up and stalked towards you, his boots pounding the floor with each step. You flinched when he moved your hair to the side. You could feel his gloved finger grazing your back as he pulled the zipper all the way down. You weren't really embarrassed about him seeing you in your undergarments which was just a black lace bra and a lace thong to match. You climbed into the bed and as soon as your head hit the pillow, you were out for the count.

\-----------------------------

"Get up." You yawned and rubbed your eyes. "Hello to you too." "Hurry and get dress, Supreme Leader awaits you on the ship." What? You didn't have the energy to change back into your dress so you put on some black leggings with a black long sleeve and sneakers. You ran a brush through your long hair and followed Ap'lek out the door.

\------------------------------

Kylo never really said where we were going as he refused to answer my questions. The scavenger was on board with us but was being watched upon by the knights. After two hours of being in auto pilot, we arrived to wherever this was. It was just another ship. Boring. You followed Kylo to an elevator, the Knights behind you with the savenger across Ushar's arm. Once you stepped off the elevator, Kylo took her into his arms and used the force to open the door. You could see a large throne. The room was red with black accents here and there. What really intrigued you were the people who surrounded the throne. Almost like Kylo's knights. Except, less scarier and each only baring a spear. Their armour more simplistic than Kylo's knights.

"The mighty Kylo Ren and his apprentice."

Kylo set down the scavnger who was still asleep. "You've brought me the scavenger? It must be my lucky day. Wake her." 

If this is who Snoke was, I don't ever want to see him again. He was disfigured and wrinkly. Reminded me of a rasin. His bony fingers in view as they lay on the arms of the throne. Kylo woke the scavenger up by holding his hand abover her face, he was towering over her. His finger unclipping his saber, toying with it. I stood off to the side, away from what was bound to happen. 

"Get away from me, you monster." She was trying desperately to thrash around but was deemed impossible as she had leg and arm cuffs on her.

"Kylo Ren." Kylo briefly looked up at the rasin on the throne. "You know what to do." 

Kylo looked down at the girl below him. "Everyone will know you failed. The resistance will succumb to the ways of the darkside." 

"The resistance will never join you." she spit back. Kylo lit up his saber. "You're wrong." In an instance you could see the flash of his saber connect with her neck.Her head rolled away. Snoke's hand reached out and the scavenger's lightsaber sat on the desk next to him.

"You there." You snapped out of whatever gaze you were in. "Come fourth and bow." You looked to Kylo but his face was blank and unreadable, which set an uneasy feeling in your stomach.

"Dispose of her." You misheard that surely. "She is a disraction to you and finding the last piece and ruling over the galaxy. Secure your place, just like your grandfather." 

You were shaking uncontrolably as Kylo came to stand in front of you. You could already hear his saber buzzing to life. You were ready to accept your fate as you were preparing your mind for death. A tiny part of you thought that Kylo wouldn't do it, he would disobey Snoke's order.

"You have a fool for an apprentice Ren. He can't escpe me. I can read every last bit of his thoughts. You will die in the hands of the First Order as nothing but scum coming from Jakku." You could feel hot tears streaming down your face.

You kept waiting for something to happen, but nothing ever did.


	19. Chapter 19

Your eyes were closed tightly just waiting for the moment for Kylo to kill you.

However, you heard a slumping on the floor. You opened your eyes and gasped. Kylo killed Snoke. You reached your hand out for the saber as the knights were coming towards you and Kylo. "Put that training to use Y/n."

Immediately you were being swarmed as you and Kylo were both taking down the knights. You would kick into their chest plate, leaving them to stumble as you sliced their neck with your saber. Others, you would leap onto them and put them in a chokehold and slam them to the ground. You didn't have time to see how Kylo was doing, you were focused on your task.

You were caught off guard as you were slammed into the large glass panels behind you, as the knight put his spear to your neck. You used the force to throw him back and plunged your saber into his side. Good thing you didn't have to fight all of them while wearing your dress. You were so engrossed in your victory, that you didn't notice that one of the knights grabbed you by your neck and threw you to the ground, disorientating you. As you tried to get back up, a sharp pain evaded your neck and that's where things went foggy.

________________

When you came to, you were in a bed, but not Kylo's bed. A hospital bed. Your head was pounding significantly and you could see the wires penetrating your skin. Your hands skimmed your neck finding a large piece of gauze covering the area. This has been the third time and I haven't died yet, you groaned. How the hell did I get here? Did Kylo bring me? Is he ok?

All of a sudden your door opened and you saw the familiar black robes and mask. "What the stars happened." "You were stabbed." "Thanks captain obvious." "I should've let you died. Really y/n, how did you loose focus?" "Oh so now this is on me? You are really something else Ren. You should've killed me and be left with that thing you called a mentor. He's been manipulating you since day 1. He was going to manipulate you to kill me." Kylo stormed up to your bed, his mask inches from your face, "You don't know what you're talking about, little girl." You really wanted to punch his face in, but not when he had his helmet on. Maybe you can bite him? "Oh, I don't know what I'm talking about? You're just a scared boy in a mask. You act tough Kylo, but I don't buy it. You act all mighty and powerful but it's all just a front to scare people, you're pathetic." Well if he wasn't mad before he is now. Kylo lit up his saber and in a second, placed it near your neck, enough where you could feel the heat radiating off from it. You tried to move your head away, but Kylo was using the force to keep you in place. Asshole.

"You know nothing about me, scum. You're nothing to me. Just a nuisance in my life, that's all." "Well if i'm such a bother to you then why haven't you killed me? Better yet, have your knights kill me because I sure as hell would not want to see your face as the last thing before I die." Kylo was going to respond when the door open and revealed an older woman with a white coat holding papers. "Ah Mrs. Ren, I've seen you've woken up. How do you feel?" If she was scared of Kylo, she sure didn't show it. "Terrible." She nodded her head as if that was suspected. "Have you been feeling naseous?" What? "Um no. Is that expected?" "Well Mrs. y/n it appears you're pregnant." You bursted out laughing even with all the pain going through your body. "Oh shit are you serious?" "Yes, congratulations." You laid back stunned, you couldn't bring yourself to look at Kylo knowing he wouldn't be happy. He was the one having sex with me, it's not my fault. "Excuse me doctor, can you give y/n and I a moment?" You stared at her back as she walked out of the room, dreading the conversation that was to come. Oh no. Kylo turned to look at you but you pretended to be interested in the wires in your arm and the monitor. "You're getting rid of that baby y/n."

You snapped your gaze to Kylo and crossed your arms glaring. "No." You could see Kylo clenching his fists through his leather gloves. "I'm sorry, did you just tell me no?" You took a breath and swallowed the lump in your throat. "I don't think I stuttered Kylo." You could basically feel the heat coming off his body, he was infuriated. Kylo was always used to getting his way, and now he is expecting a child. Kylo didn't bother to respond as the doors opened and he slammed it back shut.

Kylo

Your rage couldn't be contained as you dove your saber into millions of Alazmec's who populated Mustafar. 

Your nose filled with scents of burning flesh and sweat, and your favorite; blood. You couldn't wrap your head around the situation. Y/N was preganant. She is bearing a child. I am the Supreme Leader, i'm not meant to be a father and babysit some child. You could feel your anger boil through, with nothing to swing at.

Y/N

When Kylo stormed out to have his temper tantrum, the older lady came back in. "How many weeks am I?" "7 weeks." Oh shit. You lifted your gown, and sure enough there was a slight bump. "And my neck?" "Luckily they didn't strike your major artery in your neck which would render you dead." Yeah, luckily. "But they were close, we were able to stop the bleeding, but we think you'd have a scar there that will last your entire life." "Thank you."

_____________________________

You asked one of the nurses to help you shower and dissmissed her once you were finished, there was a floor length mirror beside the dresser in your hospital room. You pulled up your gown and placed your hands on stomach looking in the mirror, "Kylo will come around to the idea of you don't worry."

Will he?


	20. Chapter 20

Kylo

After I got back from Mustafar, I could still feel the rage in my body. I ignored everyone around me as I stepped onto the finalizer and went straight towards the training room.

I unclipped my cloak and threw my helmet to the ground. I unclipped my saber igniting it and sliced through every practice dummy there was along with marking up the wall. I wasn't finished, but could see sparks coming from the walls along with smoke. Someone will clean it up.

I don't bother glancing at the door as I already know who it is. "Vicrul, just the person I wanted to see."

Y/N

Once I released from Medbay, I was escorted to Kylo's quarters by a stromtrooper. I knew Kylo would be upset but I didn't think he would ignore his own child that was going to be born. It's been a week and I've sat in Kylo's quarters twiddling my thumbs, I was going to go insane. I needed to talk to Kylo.

Surprisingly my doors weren't being guarded by his bucket heads, so I stepped out into the hallway having no clue of where he might be. I probably looked like a lunatic straggling around the dark hallways. Finally what seemed like forever, I finally found someone who i recognized and I breathed a sigh of relief. "Hux!" You saw him look towards where the sound came from until his eyes set on you and his lips curled into a snarl. "Do you know where Kylo is?" You stood there rocking back and fourth while Hux checked his data pad. "He's in the training room." You squealed a thank you and surprised yourself when you hugged him. Hux stood there stiffly and uncomfortable as no one has ever hugged him.

Your feet carried you to the training room and you took in a breath as you stood at the door, pumping yourself up to face Kylo. You opened the door and shrieked as a weapon was so close to cutting your face. "REALLY AP'LEK?? You almost cut my face." "Sorry Y/n." Kylo seemed unfazed over the encounter as you saw him continue to battle against Vicrul.

You watched Kylo as he quickly gained the upper hand and took Vicrul into a choke hold, Kylo's saber at his neck.

You continued to stand there awkwardly as you waited for all the knights to file out so you could talk to Kylo alone. "Why are you still here?" Oh you could feel the anger starting to boil in your veins. "We need to talk." "No we don't." "Yes we do." you shouted. Kylo seemed taken aback that you raised your voice at him. Kylo took a step towards you, he truly was enormous in height which frightened you, especially now since Kylo doesn't enjoy confrontation. Kylo pointed a finger at you, "who are you to burst through these doors and demand that we talk?" You let out an exasperated breath and you chose to ignore the way that Kylo was studying your face. Creepy much?

"You can't ignore me forever, you were the one who did this if I remember correctly." Kylo snorted, "why don't you try asking your boyfriend Vicrul? How can you be so sure that you are bearing my child." Asshat. "KYLO, YOU HAD SEX WITH ME FIRST! How can you be so naive? I mean truly."

Before you knew what had happened, Kylo pulled your hair so hard that you were looking directly into his face. His fingers tightly grasping your jaw. Great. More bruises. You felt tears start to brim your eyes. Why does he always have to hurt me? "You're lucky I can't hurt you y/n because of the baby. But once that child is born, I'll make sure you realize to never disrespect and raise your voice at me again. As for when the child is born, we will send it to be a stormtrooper, erasing their memory of ever thinking they were born from you and I."

You fought against Kylo's grip on your jaw to no use, he wasn't ever going to let you be with your child. You couldn't believe that Kylo could get even more cruel. Thankfully, Kylo let go of your hair and the leeching grip on your jaw. You stood there wondering if you should tackle him or do something. You walked over to the knife wrack and pulled one into your sleeve. Kylo paid no attention to you and was picking up his cloak from the ground. Here goes nothing.

You aimed where you wanted to throw it, which was at his skull. He froze it in mid air as if expecting the attack. He slowly turned his head to look at you. "Nice try. I thought you we be more clever than this. Clearly you haven't learned anything. Do you know what happens now?" You didn't speak. He couldn't hurt you so what was he going to do? He started taking menacing steps while I kept backing up until I hit a wall. Shit. Kylo was so close to you that you could smell his minty breath. "Naughty girl." He waved his hand over your face and everything went black.

You woke up sweating and shivering. What the stars happened? You noticed you weren't in Kylo's quarters anymore, or wearing your clothes. Only a hospital gown with a simple black cardigan. Your hands were chained to the walls, halting your movements. The chains weren't short but long enough that you couldn't move far from your bed. The room was simple, your bed was in a corner, along with a separate room that you guess held the shower and toilet. A dresser stood near the door, and a simple white comforter covered the bed you were sitting on. The chains dug into your wrists and you could feel your hair sticking onto your skin.

You were alone and scared, in a room that resembled a prison cell. Did Kylo go so far as to put me in this room insinuating that I'm a violent individual? I'm his wife for crying out loud, and pregnant. You curled into a fetal position in the bed and sobbed.


	21. Chapter 21

You were awoken by the sound of your door opening and the deep pounding of boots. You quickly sat up in your bed and rubbed your eyes, though, the chains made it difficult, you groaned in frustration.

"Kitten."

You backed into the wall pulling your knees towards your chest. Your heart was aching and hurting as well as your entire body. "You don't get to call me that anymore."

"But you are my kitten." "No i'm not Kylo! Not since you put me in this room as i'm some crazy person. I'm your wife holding your child for kriffs sake!" You could see Kylo's jaw clench. "You were about to impale my skull." "Yes, and you deserved it." You let out a huff, clearly done with Kylo. All he's ever done is hurt you, why should this time be different? You would be a fool to believe anything different.

You saw him walk away into your bathroom, not soon after did you hear water running. "You are not bathing me." "Yes I am, stay still so I can remove the cuffs from your wrist." "I said no Kylo." He walked towards the bed, "Did you say no?" He cocked his head at you. "I guess hearing is something the Supreme Leader can't do." You looked away at the wall behind him, refusing to meet his gaze. Two can play this game. Once he releases the cuffs, it will be war.

You still didn't meet his gaze as you felt his leather gloves brush across your skin, and heard a tiny click. You rubbed your tender wrists, recirrculating the blood flow. You quickly thought of your plan, it wasn't good, but you were willing to try. "I have to use the bathroom first." Not waiting for an answer, you brushed past Kylo and closed the door to the bathroom. This was gonna hurt. You punched the glass mirror that was above the sink and quickly fell to the floor in position. You grabbed a shard of glass to make it look like it was stuck in your hand. Not a second after did Kylo rush into the bathroom to see what happened. "Kitten! What the hell did you do." "Kylo, I can't move. Can you come closer, please." You could smell Kylo's breath as you could feel him next to you.

In the blink of an eye, you shot your hand out and stabbed Kylo in the back with the glass shard, digging it in. He groaned in pain falling to his side as you shot up towards the door. The door opened before you could reach the knob and you saw Vicrul accompanied by the other knights. They all started backing you into the corner when you fell onto you bed. You backed yourself into the wall. "Knights, you know what to do." It was Kylo's voice. How did he get up so fast?

You were snapped from your gaze as a hand grasped your arm pulling you down onto the bed. Another Knight was holding your legs, making it near to impossible to struggle. "Get away from me!" One knight straddled your body, holding your arms down by your side, while you felt one of them hold your head down in place. You screamed as you felt a jab on your neck as if it was coming from a needle. Your body fell numb in a matter of minutes, your mind starting to get foggy. You laid your eyes on the knight holding the needle. Vicrul.

Your vision turned to black.

\--------------------------

When you awoke again, you were in the same room. Your arms were not cuffed down, your legs were. You had mitts covering your hands, one of them wrapped in bandages.

\------------

You weren't sure how many days have passed by but, Kylo never came. You were glad of it. You couldn't stand to look at him or listen to him. All you did was stare at a blank wall. You stopped eating completely, the nurse ordered a permeanent feeding tube. A nurse would come in every few weeks to check the vital signs of the baby. Not much else would happen, you were completely numb to the bone. It was Vicrul who stabbed the needle into your neck. You couldn't believe it, you were shocked. He said he loved you, cared about you. Just to be stabbed in the back. Nothing mattered anymore, it was all a lie. Being in a cell was still better than being Kylo's dog toy, you were sure of that.

\--------------

Author's note: Speeding up the time for the book.

\---------------

almost a month later.

———————-

I have been confined to this cell for almost close to a month now. My stomach has grown much bigger, proving it to being uncomfortable. I haven't seen Kylo for a month which I'm glad for, or any of the knights. Everyone on this finalizer disgusts me. How they can throw me away like trash.

This afternoon, I was feeling more in pain than usual, it would be impossible for me to give birth early, as I'm due in a week. Not once has Kylo came in and checked on the status of his own friggin child.

Later with trust, they took the mitts off of me after two weeks since I stabbed Kylo. No more restraints either. I was free to roam my cell. All I did was sleep anyways, there wasn't anything to do. I had only a window for entertainment.

I groaned as I had to get up from my bed to use the restroom, when a deep pain felt as if it was stabbing me from the inside. I fell to the floor and curled into a ball, screaming in pain. The door burst open with a stormtrooper who was struggling on what to do. It felt as if I was being stabbed by a million needles in my womb. I can't have my baby early. This is impossible.

I felt my body being scooped up. I wasn't really paying attention to what was happening until I fell on maybe another bed. I could see a million bright lights as I squeezed my eyes shut, and a jab on the inside of my arm. I could feel millions of things being prodded into me as well as the sounds of various machines.

Kylo

I was on my way back to my quarters when a stormtrooper almost bumped into me. "Watch where your going. Next time I won't hesitate to snap your neck." you seethed.

"Commander sir, your wife, y/n."

You started to grow impatient, "What about her?"

"She's dead sir."


	22. Chapter 22

AN: You guys are going to kill me for the time jump haha.

15 years later

Stella

My name is Stella Luna Ren. I like my name, its unique, i have the stars and moon in my name. I was born from Kylo Ren and my mother whom i've never met but I plan to find her one day. I rarely see my father who is now in charge of the First Order and the whole galaxy. I admire him sometimes, except when he is hurting innocent people. He needs therapy, honestly. I spend most of my time in my room writing or drawling, or with the Knights. They're honestly like brothers to me, they make up both of mother and father who I rarely get to see. They can also get very protective and annoying, like when I drag them outside with me into the snow because I like to feel the way the cold feels on my hands or how I like to look at all the flowers covered in snow. They make me come inside after 5 minutes because they don't want me catching a cold even if i'm bundeled in millions of layers. Sometimes I just want to take a breather outside except I can't because they're is always one Knight who lingers with me throughout the day. Or when I'm in my quarters, they're is constantly someone guarding my room.

Kylo was rarely present while I was growing up, I mean, who can be so busy as to not see their child? Here and there we would talk with one another, he was so cold sometimes. He never gave me any heart warming hugs or a kiss goodnight. He only asked what I was doing somedays and if the Knights were behaving themselves around me. I knew deep down he cared for me, I could see it in his eyes. I guess he just doesn't like to show his weakness. Hux has also taken a fondness to me. He often lets me play with his cat Millicent.

The First Order ship can get very boring at times to, especially not having anyone your own age to talk to. I write all my thoughts and feelings in my journal that I keep under my pillow and my various drawlings are taped along my walls. The thing I like most about my quarters is my window to see out into the galaxy. I could spend hours upon hours each day looking through that vary window. That's where I get some of my drawling inspo from, or various things I find that I keep. Of course I don't tell the Knights that. I even drew Millicent once which I gave to Hux. I swear I must've saw him tear up, he claimed that a piece of dust flew into his eyes.

I start my day with a shower and change into my regular attire being black sweatpants and a black longlseeve along with some sneakers. I don't bother drying my hair, it's already cold enough in this place so it'll dry faster. Of course once I open the door I see Ap'lek and Cardo. One walks behind me while the other is in front while I go to the cafeteria for some breakfeast. If there's one thing that Kylo should do, is hire better chefs. The food is nothing to write about, it's simple and plain.

I settle on a muja muffin and some orange juice finding my way to the table. It's not hard to miss where the Knights are sitting. They're ginormous, clad with their body armour and weapons. I learned to get used to their helmets, I used to have nightmares when I was younger. I've seen them unmasked sometimes but I've forgotten now as they never take them off. It's like their helmets are part of their body. I frown as I sit down and see the Knights with their weapons in their hands as if begging anyone to get close. I bet they would love slaughtering someone this early in the morning. "Must you have your weapons on hand while I'm eating?" They turn to me and I cock one eyebrow. Instead I hear the clanging of metal as they drop their weapons onto the table and they cross their arms over their chest. I give a sarcastic smile,"better." Not really, but at least it was a start.

After I finish my muffin, I decided to strike up some friendly conversation. "You two look cheery this morning? Did someone polish your masks." I hold back a laugh. "We did. We polish our masks." You let out a snort. "Where's my father?" "Away." I groned, of course he is. He's always away doing something. "What's he doing this time? Burning down another village?" Ap'lek decided to speak up, "Alright I think it's time to go." Instead of going back to your quarters, you decided you wanted to go to the training room. You've only found yourself in their at times when you were exceptionally bored being today being one of those times.

In no time, Ap'lek and Cardo were already fighting each other on the mat. I, however, took interest in the knife rack. I ran my fingers under the knife handles, each one different than the last. My mind would keep going back towards my mother. Where was she? How will I be able to find her? You walked over to a bench on the side of the mat and watched the duel between the two.

Once you waited and they were finshed, you decied to pop a question, "Do you know where my mother went?" They both turned to you, silent. "Well?" "We'll escort you to your quarters." "What why?" The knights turned to you. "You must ask your father yourself." You frowned but followed them out the door into the dark cold hallways to your room. "So you do know something." The Knights ignored your response as you huffed at them.

Why won't tell they me anything? They clearly know something about my mother. They're clearly hiding something. I will get to the bottom of this and figure it out.

You walked into your quarters and found yourself at the window. You placed your hand on the glass, "I will find you."


	23. Chapter 23

*Flashback to end of chapter 21*

Kylo

"She's dead sir."

"Dispose of her." The stormtrooper seemed taken aback by you're command. "Yes Commander."

You proceeded to walk to your quarters you're mind racing by the minute. Y/n is dead, not part of the plan, but she is dead. Bearing your child. The only thing left to do was to find Luke and complete the final step in taking over the first order. You needed guidance.

As you scanned your hand, the hallways when you walked into your quarters, felt much darker than before. You stepped into one of the doors on the right, easily seen when you walked in, but many locks on the outside ensuring that no one but you could get in.

The room was all white with black accents here and there. In the center was a podium, bearing what's left of my grandfather.

I outreach my hand onto the front of the mask and close my eyes. "Grandfather, I seek your guidance on finding one Luke Skywalker. Help me find him and take over the First Order."

____________

You had no intention of meeting your child, however, one glimpse couldn't hurt.

You felt strange walking into Medbay. One of the nurses immediately ushered you into one of the rooms. You could almost feel y/n's presence. They must've just taken her away. She must've died giving birth due to all the trauma her body had been through. You didn't feel guilty in the slightest. Kylo Ren was not going to be weak for some girl. It was an act, you never expected her to be dead of course. That part was unplanned.

You spotted a figure moving out of the corner of your eye and as you stepped forward you saw the face of your child. Big brown eyes along with plump cheeks in an incubator.

"Would you like to hold her Commander?" You were so mesmerized that you didn't even notice when the nurse came in. "No." With that, you brushed past her, your cape flowing behind you as you stormed out of Medbay.

_________

Present day~

Stella

You've must've spent hours in your quarters drawling and reading, to the point where you felt your mind turning to mush. You groaned and decided you needed a break out of your quarters maybe outside or maybe talk to Kylo if he was here. You rolled your eyes at the thought of Kylo being here. He was too busy hunting down Luke Skywalker then care for his own daughter. Instead he left you with the Knights 24/7. You had no problem with them, you could just never talk about girl stuff with them.

You opened your big doors and almost back flipped when there were no Knights in sight guarding your door. You stepped into the chilly hallway, your mission to at least spend some time with Kylo before he left to some unknown location again.

As you were walking down the hallway you could see in the distance a mass of tall and large figures. Shit. It was the knights. You've made it too far from your quarters to be sent back. You quickly ran into a random storage closet you saw and tried to shut the door as quietly as you could. You could hear their boots pounding down the hallway and you relaxed once you couldn't hear them anymore. You quietly shut the door back into place and continued down the hallway again.

You were too busy glancing around, paranoid, when you bumped into someone. "Stella? What are you doing out here?" It was Hux. You ignored his question, "Is Kylo here?" His lips formed into a tight line. "Are you supposed to be out of your quarters?" You sighed, exasperated, "I'm his own daughter, I think I have a right to see him. Can you please just tell me? I'll feed your cat for a week." "No need, he's in his quarters." You flashed Hux a grin and practically skipped away in glee of knowing he was here.

After what seemed like minutes and minutes you reached his quarters. Do I knock? You stood there pondering on what to do when you were interrupted yet again. "You there. What are you doing in front of Supreme Leaders door?" I despised stormtroopers. Just a bunch of rusty metal with no good than berate people. You put your hands on your hips and looked up into their mask, "I'm his daughter."

A beat. "Very well." You saw him press his hand into the scan and heard a door click. You didn't bother thanking him as you opened the door and stepped in. You were in a hallway, it was cold and dark. You spotted a room on the right side with locks. You never noticed that room was there before. Sure, you've been in Kylo's quarters when you were little, but never noticing and memorizing things. You walked up to the door and let your fingers trace over the cold metal locks.

"What are you doing." You nearly jumped out of your skin. "Sorry I got distracted." "Clearly." You rolled your eyes but decided to let his comment slide. You walked over to where he was, his helmet was off along with his cape. You punched his chest hard, or at least you thought it was hard but Kylo had no reaction. "Why didn't you tell me you were leaving again? You never make time for me." 

Kylo pulled you into a hug and you groaned as his hand went and ruffled your hair. "I missed you too, kid." You pushed away from him and groaned. "I'm not a kid." You brought your hands up to smooth your hair back down.

__________

You and Kylo sat at his table reminiscing of when you were a child. Times like this were rare with Kylo, he never spent this much time with you. You still had that burning question in the back of your mind about who your mother was and why she ran away from here, from you and Kylo.

"Can I ask you something?" Kylo nodded his head forward to continue. "What happened to my mother? Where is she, and why isn't she here?" You heard no answer from Kylo and when you went to look up at his face, his eyes were stormy and his lips were pressed in a tight line. "We do not speak of her."

"What? Why not? I should have the right to know!" You could feel your voice start to waver. Kylo abruptly stood up and started towards the door, "Don't move from this room, this conversation is not over." He didn't wait for your answer as he slammed the door shut.

You were hurt mostly as to what everyone was possibly hiding about what happened to your mother. You felt a lightbulb in your head,

You needed to get into that locked room you saw when you walked in, and you needed to do it before Kylo got back.


	24. Chapter 24

Stella

I waited a couple more minutes after Kylo walked out to make sure it was safe. Even though he wasn't here, I still tiptoed down the hall towards the room.

I eyed the locks on the door which consisted of a pad with numbers that I would need to unlock, and a lock that needed a key. I can figure that one out later. I needed three numbers in order to break the first lock so I scattered my brain for dates. Kylo rarely told me much about his childhood so I couldn't think of any significant dates for him, neither my mother because I have never met her. The only time I talked about my mother was just moments ago and Kylo stormed out.

Ok, ok, I need to focus. I need to know what is in this room. Oh come on brain! I need dates! I put in the date of when Kylo was born but frowned when I was denied. Hmmmm. I crossed my fingers while typing in the date that I was born. I let out a sigh of relief when I saw a green light and a click, but I still need to get the other lock open. My bobby pin is too small to crack the lock so I went towards the kitchen and picked up a sharp knife.

Being careful not to cut myself, I wiggled the knife into the lock and waited. I was growing impatient so I started to do it more forcefully and sure enough I heard another click. Bingo.

I was practically jumping with glee inside once I pushed open the door. I quietly closed the door and gawked at the room before me. It was mostly a plain white room with black splashed here and there. The piece of resistance though, was this strange mask that was on a platform.

The mask was practically staring right into my face as I took small steps towards it. What should I do now? My mind was battling between leaving the room and get scolded by my father or stay and see what the mask does or shows me.

My brain made my answer before I did and I reached my shaking hand out towards the front of the mask.

Immediately I heard a loud crash and I realized I wasn't in that room anymore, I was in some village. Fire was breaking out while civilians were left to take refuge. I saw many stormtroopers shooting their blasters. I tried to run up and stop them but they couldn't see or hear me. Almost like I was a ghost. Suddenly I saw a big ship like Kylo's test on the ground with the door coming down.

It was my father with stormtroopers by his side. I head yelling and turned to the commotion coming from a girl. Who is this? I saw Kylo walk up to her and wave his hand and I watched the girl slump forward. I heard the stormtrooper ask about what to do with the village when his robotic voice gave me chills in my spine, "Kill them all."

Before I could follow, I was transported to what seemed like one of the cells on the finalizer for prisoners. Why did it take me here?

I spotted the girl from earlier as I stood in the corner and jumped when the large door was swung open. I couldn't make out what they were saying because I didn't want to risk getting too close but they must've been getting into an argument I saw the girls face contort into a glare.

She then walked aside Kylo and shut the bathroom door when I then heard glass shattering and a yell. In no time, Kylo rushed in and then I heard a groan and saw the young girl run out. She didn't get to far when I saw that the knights were crowding her and pushing her onto her bed.

The screams were getting too much as I slid down the wall and curled into a ball with my hands covering my ear. Why hasn't this ended? Maybe if I scream I'll be transported to the room and Kylo can just scold me. Who is this girl though? I have to know.

I didn't notice that I was back on the cold tile until I felt a pair of hands pick me up. I tensed beneath them and started to panic as I tried wiggling myself out, but grew tired as a hand wove over my face.

______\\\

When I came to I was in a bed, I shot up and started to push the sheets aside when a large figure was sitting at the table. I froze. It was my father. He must've been the one that picked me up and left me unconscious.

I took in a quavering breath and swallowed for what was to come which I knew was not going to be good.

"So you broke into the room I specifically told you not to go in to."

I stayed silent, fearful for my life. My own father wouldn't kill me would he?

"Speak!"

I jumped a little when I heard him yell at me. "Y-yes." I stammered.

"Why? Why did you have to disobey me?" I could feel tears start to prickle my eyes and I hung my head. I felt a large hand grasp my jaw tightly bringing my head up.

"Why?" I noticed his tone getting more angrier by the minute and I didn't know what to do. Kylo never got this angry around me and if he did he usually walked out of the room and didn't come back.

"I don't know." He tsked. "Your lying."

I could feel my face start to get red as anger pulsed through my veins. "What have you been keeping from me?"

Kylo scoffed which only made me more angry. "I'm afraid I don't know what you're talking about and I believe we were discussing why you broke into one of my rooms completely ignoring my command."

"Who gives a shit about your room! I want to know what it is I saw when I touched the mask!"

Kylo was silent for a couple of minutes and I was really about to just walk out of the room.

"It was your mother."


	25. Chapter 25

Stella

"Who?" I could feel my eyes getting glossy.  
Kylo closed his eyes and let out a sigh in frustration as he pinched the temple of his nose. "You saw your mother."

You sat there crisscross on the bed with your mouth agape. "What happened to her! Where is she?" "She's dead."

You scoffed, "No she's not, she's on another planet waiting for me to find her." "She's dead, my dear daughter." You couldn't help but let the tears fall onto your cheeks as you sat there in disbelief of what your father was telling you. You felt his gloved hand wipe the tears off of your cheek when you pushed his hand away and you jumped off the bed. You pointed a finger at him, "You. You lied to me. Why?" A sob was bound to break out but you were managing to hold it somewhat together. Kylo only stood there silently. "YOU KILLED HER DIDN'T YOU?"

"No, Stella can you listen to me? I will tell you everything you want to know." Kylo went and sat at the edge of his bed and patted the seat next to him. You hesitated at first but decided to go sit down and listen to him.

"You're mother died while giving birth to you. Her body couldn't take it."

I looked up at my father with my red brimmed eyes, "Were you with her?"

"I was on a mission." In an instance, I connected my fist with my father's cheek. I ignored the pain radiating through me and decided to focus on my rage. I continued to bang my fists against Kylo's chest, "YOU BASTERD. YOU KNEW MY MOTHER WAS CLOSE TO GIVING BIRTH BUT YOU CHOSE TO LEAVE HER ALL ALONE AND SHE DIED DUE TO YOUR NEGLIGENT ACTIONS!"

I felt a strong hand pull at my wrist harshly making me wince. "ENOUGH STELLA." I looked at him with wide eyes, "You never cared about her, did you? You tortured her like the rest of the people you capture in the galaxy and her body was left broken which is why she couldn't handle my birth."

Kylo still sat there with his one hand tightly around my wrist, I tried squirming out of his grasp but he wouldn't let me go. "Am I right or not father?" 

"Your mother was the very least of my concerns." I swear I could hear ringing in my ears as my vision turned red. I struggled even more while Kylo kept his grasp on my wrists and he was ducking my blows as I was trying to head butt him. I felt another pair of hands grab my waist and pull me from behind. "GET YOUR FUCKING HANDS OFF OF ME!"

With all my night, I elbowed the person behind me which only led to me being restrained more, it must've been the Knights.

"I HATE YOU KYLO, I HOPE YOU-" My words were cut off as I let out a shriek as I felt something sharp enter my neck. Immediately I felt dizzy and spiraled into blackness.

_////

When I woke I was in my quarters in my bed. I had a pounding headache. It was all a lie everything was all a lie. My mother was dead and my father didn't tell me. The knights probably knew the truth! Everyone except me, and she was my mom. Now I'll never get to know who she is. I will grow up without a mother and instead of the hands of ruthless leader my father is.

I didn't want to get out of bed, I rather lay in all my misery. It was better this way, not having to deal with the morons of the Finalizer. Except maybe Hux's cat, that was the only exception.

Throughout the day, I drifted in and out of sleep. My personal drone would come in with my food, but I didn't have the energy to eat, so my food was left u touch on the tray.

_\\\\____  
I recommend this song during this part :)  
Song: Dancing with your ghost- Sasha Sloan

I decided to go take a shower nearly gagging as I smelled myself. I pulled myself from bed and dragged myself to the bathroom, clearly not wanting to leave the comfort of my bed.

When I got to my bathroom, I shut the door locking it and turned the faucet to wait for my shower to warm up. I'm in the mood for it to be boiling hot today, maybe that will make me feel something.

As I looked at myself in the mirror, my eyes were puffy and red. Bruises appeared on my arms from where the Knights were grabbing me as well as a bruise over my wrists from how tightly Kylo had me in his grip. There was a bandage on the side of my neck probably from when I was involuntarily stabbed with a needle. I peeled my clothes off silently in front of the mirror. I noticed bruises along both sides of my waist and I hissed when I touched them.

After I was disposed of all my clothes, I walked to my shower and was welcomed by a clouds of steam when I opened the door. I went and sat on the bench in the corner and brought my knees up to my chin and started sobbing. I wish this pain would end, I just want my mother.

Kylo

I had to lie to her. Of course I wasn't going to tell her the truth. It's true, her mother was the least of my concern. She just happened get pregnant with a child I now have to take care of because she refused to get rid of it. I am not a father, my job is to demolish Luke Skywalker and become the ruler of the galaxy. I have no feelings for anything, it was merely an act.

I am Kylo Ren, you're Supreme Leader and Commader of the Knights of Ren.


	26. Chapter 26

Stella

For the past two days I havent left my bed. I was still furious at my father for keeping secrets of my mother that she was out somwhere waiting for me when she's actually dead. He had no right. Pshh Supreme Leader, more like Supreme Asshole.

Everyone probably knew, not even the Knights would tell me. Some family they are.

I decided to quit wallowing in bed and pick myself up to have a talk with my father once more. I slip on a new pair of black leggings along with a black shirt and my sneakers and I walk out of my quarters.

The cold Finalizer halls makes me regret my decision of not wearing a jacket as I can feel my hair sticking up on my arms and neck. I continously rub my arm for warmth cursing the makers for not making a thermostat on the ship.

My walk to Kylo's quarters are quiet, only the sounds of Stormtroopers. Their boots pounding and the muffling of their voice modualtors. I finally get to his door and scan my hand in.

Once I step in, his hallways are quiet. I walk torwards his bedroom but he's not there either. However, my eyes stopped when I see his lightsaber on the table. Kylo never, ever, let me touch his saber, but now I might have a chance to see what the fuss is about.

As I near the table, I can't help but feel a little intimidated. His saber was massive, almost too big to even be real. My shaky hands picked up the handle. It's almost like all of this power came rushing through my body all at once. I think I like it.

My thumb finds the switch and I almost jump at the scorching red that comes out of the saber. I can't help but be a tiny bit mezmorized. I pretend that I am stabbing a fellow enemy while I swing the saber around my head. I bring the saber up and bring it down but stop last minute before it slashed through my father's kitchen table. I laugh to myself as I swing the saber around in my hands. This being the first time in days that I've had a smile on my face.

"What are you doing with my saber?" I shriek as I hear Kylo's voice as the saber falls from my hand and makes brief contact with my thigh. The saber falls to the ground with a thunk as I also fall and clutch my leg as it feels like it's literally on fire and I think I smell burning flesh.

I can hear Kylo mumble to himself hurridly as he places the saber back on the table. "Can you make it onto my bed?" It takes a second for me to comprehend what was happening around me as I meekly nod a yes. Kylo goes away into his bathroom, as I somewhat pick myself up. My knuckles white from grasping the table so hard to gain balance.

It takes only minutes before Kylo joins me back on the bed except this time he holds a first aid kit. "What have I told you about touching my saber?" My cheeks burn knowing that Kylo is scolding me yet again. I don't answer him and he adds, "It's not a toy." He points to my thigh.

Kylo pushes my back onto the bed as my injured leg hangs over his knee and my other leg hangs off of the bed. I flinch when I feel the cold air on my burn as Kylo used scissors to cut the fabric off of my thigh.

I whimper in pain as I can feel a cold compress touch my tarnished skin, my knuckes turning white as I'm gripping his sheets. I can feel my eyes start to close, when the door opens and I can hear the familiar pounding of the Knight's boots.

I jump a little when I hear the loud banging of the Knights dropping their weapons onto Kylo's table, I was never used to sound of their large weapons dropping. I never wanted to pick up the Knight's weapons, plus I would probably be scolded way more from them than Kylo.

"What happened to you Stells?" Stells. It was a nickname that Ap'lek would call me but none of the other Knights would. The Knights all had different nicknames for me. I flinched when I could feel a cool liquid being rubbed onto my burn and I sat up on my elbows to see Kylo concentrated on rubbing lotion onto the affected area. "I was dueling with Kylo and he just happened to get me before I could get him." I saw Kylo shoot me look and I chuckled. "Actually, that's not what happened, my Knights. I caught her playing with my saber." I could feel my cheeks burn again as I flopped back down onto the bed and crossed my arms to my chest.

"Damn that's tough." I heard Ushar say when I slapped his hand away from pinching my cheeks. "Would you stop provoking Stella while I work on her burn, Knights." I ran my hands over my face also rubbing the spot where Ushar made damage on my face.

"Nope!" I saw Kylo glare at Cardo and I had to stiffle a laugh from coming out.

I sat again on my elbows and out of the corner of my eyes I could see all the Knights sitting down at the table or on the sofa off to the side. Some of them were polishing their weapons while others were talking and I just smiled to myself. This was my family. My incoventional, weird, scary family.

"Done." I sat up and saw some gauze around my thigh. "Should heal in a week or so, don't touch it or get it wet. I can help wrap it up with new gauze if you need it." I nodded at him and said a small thank you and sat up on the bed in crisscross, too tired to walk towards my own quarters. We've never gotten everyone in the same room before due to Kylo doing Supreme Leader duties all day and the Knights goofing around in their quarters, so it was nice having everyone around.

Kylo joined me and sat next to me on the bed. "I forgive you, I'm not mad anymore." Kylo and I both looked at each other at the same time and I swear I could see his eyes getting glossy. I was almost in shock when Kylo pulled me into a hug, his chin resting on the top of my head. "I never meant to make you upset, you know that right?" I snuggled more into his chest and wrapped my arms around his large frame, "Yes I know."

I felt my eyes getting heavy and let myself fall limp into my father's arms.


	27. Chapter 27

Stella

I was sleeping peacefully in my bed when I though I heard the door to my quarters open and figured that it was just my imagination.

Key word, figured. I was rudely awoken by someone who ripped the bed sheets away from me. Luckily I decided to wear pants and a shirt to bed or else someone would've gotten flashed. "What the hell is your problem man?" I groaned and rubbed my eyes.

"Loose the attitude Stella and get up. Now starting today, I will be training you." I groaned again and tuned towards my desk and tried my best to look at the time, squinting my eyes. 0500 my clock read. "Kylo, it's 0500 in the morning." "I'm aware of the time, my dear daughter. I'm giving you 10 minutes to get ready or I'm dragging you out no matter what you're wearing." And with that, I heard the door close.

I pushed myself up from my bed and mimicked what my father told me, turning towards the door he walked out of with my middle fingers in the air. "For fucks sake." I hurried towards my dresser throwing on a pair of black leggings along with a plain white shirt and my sneakers. I went into my bathroom and brushed my teeth and fixed my hair into 3 separate buns on the back of my head and leaving some hair out to frame my face.

I stepped out into the hallway to find my father facing the other way. He was in his black ugly attire as usual minus his mask. He turned around and looked me over, frowning. I groaned, "What is it now?"

He pulled me into his grasp, his leather hand grasping my arm. "What the stars are you doing? Let me go." You tried swatting his hand away which only made his grip on your arm tighter making you wince. "Take these out." "My hair? No I like it. I was trying something new." "I don't care take it out." You turned to look at him with an incredulous look on your face. "I said no." Kylo shrugged his big shoulders, "Suit yourself. I'll do it for you."

Kylo began pulling at you hair not even trying to be gentle. You watched all the hair ties fall to the ground. You pushed his chest to be free of his grasp which he let you. You ran your fingers over your ruined hair fuming, "Gods, who pissed in your cereal today?" You bent over to pick up one hair tie and settled with putting your hair into a bun. Kylo didn't answer my question though, he only walked away with his capes following.

You begrudgingly followed in suit behind him with your hands crossed over your chest. Hopefully everybody could see the steam coming out from your ears. Today was just a normal day for Kylo to be an asshole, of course you couldn't give your hopes over last night when he said he was sorry and hugged you. Your father shows one ounce of care and then he goes back to being the asshole father that was nonexistent through our your whole life.

Kylo and I finally arrived at the training room and he stopped and turned towards me. "In this room, I will be training you, I will be pushing you to your limits. There are no breaks until I've seen you improve. I am not your father and the Knights are not your brothers in this room. I am your Commander and should be treated with respect along with the Knights. I will not accept any foolishness. If I don't like something or I see you are not trying hard enough, we will keep doing it until you get it right or I see improvement. Am I understood?"

"Yes." "Good now get running, I want 4 laps."

_______||||______

You had no sense of time and you were about ready to drop dead on the floor. Kylo was not playing around one bit. In the beginning Kylo thought your push-ups were sloppy so he made you do them again. All 15 of them. Let me repeat. 15 PUSH-UPS.

Then he started teaching you some combat moves, which you would struggle on. You didn't have the best balance in the world and you could see Kylo's head shake every time you showed him the move. You only had a slight break where you were basically heaving with your hands on your knees. You were going to feel this in the morning for sure.

_\\\\\\\\\

"Stella, you are not looking at what I'm doing. Your supposed to swing the lightsaber around your head and bring it down to hit against mine." You were starting to get tired, and annoyed at this point. You glared at your father but he was too busy turning his lightsaber in his hand to notice your stares. "Let's do it again, and this time, why don't you try doing the move instead of messing around." That was the last straw and you exploded.

You threw the practice saber to the ground, "I don't need this." You stomped out of the training room and ran hurriedly towards your quarters not caring who you bumped in to. You scanned your hand and ran into your bathroom, shutting and locking the door. You turned your shower on and jumped when you heard pounding at your door while you peeled off your sweaty training attire. "Stella open this door this instance!" You ignored him and stepped into the shower, the warm water instantly soothing your aching muscles. You could still faintly hear pounding at your door and yelling. You sank onto the shower floor and brought your knees up to your chest and laid your head down.

____\\\\\\\

You didn't realize you drifted off in the shower until you were shivering and felt a hand grasping your hair. "Ow! What the hell are you doing? Let me go." However, the grip did not let go as you were dragged out of your bathroom and pushed on your cold bedroom floor.


	28. Chapter 28

These first 6 paragraphs can be triggering, read at your own risk.  
Stella

You groaned as you felt your head bang against the floor. "When I tell you to open that door, I mean to open that door." You were pacing your breaths as you felt the ground around you spinning.

You were thankful when you saw a large white sheet inches in front of you and you quickly grabbed it to cover up your body. Tears were already spilling out of your eyes along with your head pounding.

I slowly looked up to see Kylo standing looking down at me. The knights were here standing around talking with one another. Great, they get to see me get scolded by my father.

My father stepped closer to me but I had nowhere to go as I backed into the wall, clutching the sheet around my body. I winced when I felt my father's gloved fingers clutching my jaw forcing me to look at him. "Drop the attitude Stella because you will not win, not against me. I am not your enemy here, I am helping you." He let go of jaw and I raised my hand to rub the sore spot. I scoffed, "You're helping me by training me to become a monster like you?" I didn't have a chance to react as I felt a stinging pain on my cheek. "Ungrateful child, and to think you're my daughter. Embarrassing me in front of my Knights." He stepped forward and grasped my jaw, I tried resisting my father's death grip but to no avail as his finger latched even harder onto my jaw and I whimpered in pain. "You're hurting me." I sobbed with tears streaming down my face. I could see the Knights all looking towards the scene playing out in front of them. They weren't going to help me. They wouldn't dare interfere with Kylo. Kylo was their Master, they would never disrespect him.

"Good." That one word chilled me to the bone. "Maybe my daughter ought to be taught what pain feels like, especially for the way she has been acting towards me, her own father." "You're not my father!" I spat. "You were barely there for me, I had to grow up by myself! Alone! You are no father, you are just a coward hiding behind a mask! No wonder you killed my mot-"

"ENOUGH!" I felt another stinging pain on my opposite cheek and a yank on my hair causing me to yelp. "I will train you and together we will find Luke Skywalker and destroy him. You and I will soon take over the entire galaxy." He threw my head back and let go of my hair. I laid my head on the ground and sobbed as I heard the door shut and footsteps disappearing.

________/\\________

When I woke up I had no sense of what the time was. I was emotionally and physically drained.

I picked myself up off the floor and went towards my bed, immediately burying myself in the silk sheets.

____\\__

I awoke to the sound of a women's voice, nearly jumping out of my skin when I saw a lady standing at the end of my room.

"Stella."

How did she know my name? "Who are you?" "My name is Leia. I am with the Resistance. We believe you are in great trouble."

You sat on your bed with your mouth still open in surprise. You quickly shut it and managed to speak up finally, "How are we seeing each other? What do you mean trouble?"

Leia came closer where she was sitting on the edge of your bed. She was a frail woman, but nonetheless beautiful, her gray hair pinned into an intricate bun. "We can both see each other from the force connection I created. I've come to tell you that I've been feeling the conflict within you, you don't want to follow in your father's footsteps. Kylo Ren is a complicated man. I assure you he wasn't always like this."

"What do you mean?" Leia sighed, her eyes casted down. "Kylo Ren is my son." To be shocked was an understatement, you were appalled. "I know this is surprising information, but yes, he is my son. His name was Ben Solo before he became Kylo Ren. When Han and I had him, he was a happy child, caring even. I guess the trouble started once we sent him off to his uncle for training. Han would always be gone when Ben could take breaks from training and come home, it must've taken a toll on him not having his father there. I tried to understand what Ben was feeling, but he would never confide in me. He kept all his emotions bottled up. Snoke manipulated him, manipulated him into the dark side. That he could have more power once he came over, that he would mean something. If only we knew what Snoke was planning we would have saved Ben."

You reached your hand out Leia, "Thank you for telling me this." Leia looked up at you with glossy eyes, "You two share similarities, father and daughter." You closed your eyes and let out a sigh as Leia pushed a strand of hair behind your ear. "What's he done that has made you shed so many tears?" "Being a Supreme Leader means not having a heart for anyone I guess."

Leia wiped the tears that were now spilling down your cheeks, "Just know that he wasn't like this all the time, he is still a human under the mask." You nodded your head.

"I will come back and we'll talk, we will be taking down the First Order once and for all. I am going to bring Ben home."

You were about to answer back when the door to your quarters flew open revealing a Knight, breaking the connection. Ap'lek cocked his head at you, "Who were you talking to?"

You wiped your face with the bed sheet, "No one." Ap'lek sighed, "Get ready, Kylo requests you in the training room in 20." With that, he let the door to your quarters close.

After your visit with Leia, you couldn't help but feel a twinge of sadness for Kylo. She was right however in saying that you didn't belong to the dark side. You couldn't wait to talk to her again.


	29. Finale

After relentless hours spent training with Kylo every single day, you were suprised that you could even make it to your own quarters every night. You were exhausted all the time and very sore to even taking hot baths every night wouldn't help. Your father was being even less helpful than usual (no suprise there), he was constantly being aggressive towards you and pushing you to the edge during training. The worst part was that Leia hadn't contacted you after a couple of days and you were worried that she had forgotten about you. You were very careful in keeping what happened that night and meeting with Leia hidden deep into your brain, afraid of what would happen if Kylo ever found out.

///////////

You sighed in relief once you reached your bed, snuggling into the cold, soft silk sheets. It wasn't long before you fell asleep.

/////

You felt someone shaking your shoulder and you groaned, trying to swat the hand away. You felt the shaking get more forceful and you were starting to get agitated that your beauty sleep was interupted.

"We have to go. Now!" This got your attention. You sat up and rubbed your eyes, disoriented about what was happening at this time of night. After your eyes readjusted, you saw a tall, dark colored man wearing a leather jacket and a black shirt with black pants.

He held out his hand, "Finn." You gingerly shook his hand back, "Stella. Nice to meet you." Finn broke the handshake, "Likewise." Finn looked at his watch, and then looked back at you. "We have to go now, we don't have much time. Everyone else is waiting."

"What in the stars is going on?"

Finn took a deep breath, "We're destroying the First Order, our pilot Poe, and the rest are currently shooting at the Finalizer hoping to destroy it. It's time we end this battle between the dark and lightside. I was instructed by our General, Leia Organa to come get you. So now that you know, can we please get a move on? We don't have much time."

You got out of your bed making your way towards your dresser, "Alright, let me grab some of my things." Finn made his way over to you and grabbed your arm, "There's no ti-" You felt a sudden jolt and shaking from the ship. You almost fell over but luckily Finn's grip kept you stable.

"We need to go now, your clothes can be replaced once we get back to base." You nodded your head and followed Finn out of your quarters. You were suprised that the hallways were deserted. "C'mon!"

You and Finn ran thorough the hallways of the Finalizer and stopped at the docking bay. Chaos rang out as you saw multiple groups of Stormtroopers shooting at a ship at the edge of the docking bay. You and Finn crouched behind one of the TIE fighters. "How the stars are we going to get through that?"

Your question was answered when you heard a whooshing sound and a clank of metal. You peeked up from where you were hiding and saw that the ramp opened from the ship and someone was walking down it.

You immediately recognized that It was Leia.

"Hold your fire." Leia commanded, "I only wish to speak to my son."

Finn grabbed my arm, "C'mon." Finn led me to the ramp where Leia was standed and she instantly pulled me into a hug which I melted into. I pulled away from her, my arms still around her waist, "I'm glad you're okay. Get back on the ship with Finn, things could get ugly between my son and I."

"Wait no, let me stay! Please." Leia shook her head, but I planted my ground. It wasn't long before I was hoisted up from the ground and led onto the ship no matter how much I was screaming or pounding Finn's back.

I had a feeling something was going to happen that I wouldn't be able to prevent. It gave me an uneasy feeling in my stomach.

I watched through a window on the ship, seeing Leia still on the ramp. She looked as if she was calling out to someone, then I saw Kylo. I was nearly holding my breath from not knowing what they were talking about.

Leia Pov

"Ben."

"General Organa. What a suprise." I wanted to hear my son's voice, not the voice modulator from his helmet.

"Cut the shit Ben and come home, where you belong. You know you don't belong here, I can feel it."

"I think you're wrong. In fact, you're just as delusional as I remember."

I held out my hand towards him, "Please come home where you belong. In minutes the whole ship will be blown up, I don't want to leave you here, so please come with me, back to the resistance, where you belong."

I could tell that he was hesitant, he didn't want to appear weak, but dying in your own ship certaintly will. He certaintly got his stubberness from his father.

My ears started ringing as I heard a shot rang out and my son fall to the floor.

Stella POV

"NO!"

I lept up from my seat, ignoring the hands trying to hold me back as I pushed them away and ran out to the ramp and crouched in front of my father, tears already sliding down my face. I turned my father over and my stomach instantly dropped. The shot landed on his heart, he was barely concious at all and his eyes were closed, his breaths being labored. I looked at Leia, "Why don't you do something?" She remained standing on the ramp, "If I heal him, I will die."

She walked over to where Kylo was, crouching. She brushed the hair out of his face and kissed his forehead. She went back to stand on the ramp, "Say you're goodbyes, we must get going."

I needed to heal him. I heard Leia walk a little further up the ramp. I placed my hands over my dad's wound and closed my eyes, concentrating. I knew that if I healed him, I would die. My concentration was broken as I was, once again, picked up off the ground. "NO PLEASE, LET ME HEAL HIM." I was sobbing as tears streamed down my face and I tried to do everything to release myself from their grip.

I was thrown into a room where the door shut and locked from the outside. I slid my back against the door and started sobbing.

Leia POV

It didn't feel good lying to her but it had to be done. My son was too manipulated from the darkside to ever joining the resistance. I am just glad that she is here safe with us now, and that the dark side, is no more.

The ship started lifting up the docking bay into space, and not long after did the Finalizer explode into nothing.

I will see my son again, not as Kylo Ren, but as Ben Solo.

///////////

6 Months later.......

Stella POV

I couldn't dwell that my father was dead, I had so much more life to live now. Leia was like a mother figure to me, I understand why she did what she did, why she didn't help Kylo. She would've died and the whole plan would've been ruined and I would've been stuck carrying out my father's plans. I understand why she lied to me, if she told me the truth on what she was planning to do, I could've spilled it out unintentionlly.

I was given a new life on board, and new friends. I became fast friends with Poe, Finn, and Rose always looking towards them for guidance or when I'm feeling down. I was so grateful for them.

And yes, I did miss my father occasionally, I know he loved me, I know he did. He just had a very unusual way of showing it. I will see him again some day, along with my mother.


End file.
